Gabiluzbad
[mute][shouting about gender into the void]
Gabiluzbad
So like
Gabiluzbad
Something I've been thinking about a lot
Gabiluzbad
Is how I hang out in a largely LGBTQ community
Gabiluzbad
And play a lot of girls
Gabiluzbad
And then call myself a cishet
Gabiluzbad
And I keep second guessing myself, especially on the cis part?
Gabiluzbad
Because I have ALL the earmarks of an egg
Gabiluzbad
I've spent the last few months spinning around in my head going like
Gabiluzbad
"AM I actually trans and just in denial about it?"
"I don't think so"
"Aha! That's what someone who's in denial about being trans would say!"
Dragomorph
on the other hand
Dragomorph
i'm a gal that plays a lot of guys
Dragomorph
and I thought something along those lines
Gabiluzbad
And the thing that, for now at least, has set my mind at ease
Gabiluzbad
Is some sentimental garbage
Dragomorph
but I notice a distinct cognitive dissonance when people call me a guy in FFXIV despite the fact that my avatar is, in fact
Gabiluzbad
which is that I like being my timeline's big brother
Dragomorph
a guy
Dragomorph
bless
Gabiluzbad
That role feels good
Gabiluzbad
Also yeah, Badge
Quinneapolis
honestly everyone should take some time to question their gender
TWO OF THEM
what quinn said
Quinneapolis
even if it doesn't go anywhere
Gabiluzbad
LOTS of people don't stick to their own gender while RPing
Quinneapolis
I have a friend who went for the whole "call me They for 24 hours"
Quinneapolis
and came out of it going "nope"
Quinneapolis
and that's great
Quinneapolis
because now she knows
TWO OF THEM
even if the answer you arrive at is "no, i am cis, actually", then you might feel more confident in yourself, too
Gabiluzbad
I did the same thing for being het
TWO OF THEM
because now it's not just something you took for granted to be true
Quinneapolis
but it sounds like you have given it a good thought and it sounds like you are, ultimately, probably a dude
Dragomorph
We eventually determined the reason I play guys a lot is because I am deliberately moving as far from myself as possible
Gabiluzbad
Where I was just like "Let's spend a day or two thinking about guys the way I think about girls"
Gabiluzbad
".................................................no girls are more attractive."
RobotApocalypse
yeah i agree, everyone should question their gender at some point
RobotApocalypse
my best friend IRL has also done this questioning and come out of it going "nah, i'm definitely cis"
Gabiluzbad
I'm like....96-97% het
oh i'm scary
it'd only be beneficial for questioning to be more normal and accepted, yeah
RobotApocalypse
also mad respect for you being able to evaluate your sexuality like that, too
Quinneapolis
yeah damn
RobotApocalypse
toxic masculinity makes that sort of thing difficult to do
Gabiluzbad
Like
TWO OF THEM
eric, if you are a cishet, you are the least toxic cishet i know
Gabiluzbad
I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic?
Gabiluzbad
Actually dating someone sounds like a lot of work for a very nebulous connection I don't quite get
Gabiluzbad
But also girls are very pretty
Quinneapolis
I've had that thought, that you might be aro
Gabiluzbad
I've been low key assuming that about myself for a WHILE
RobotApocalypse
aro but not ace is a valid combination!
Gabiluzbad
I just don't talk about it a lot because I feel like it's saying "I don't want to love someone I just wanna fuck 'em"
Gabiluzbad
Which feels...kinda gross
TWO OF THEM
hmm...i think if you frame it as, it's a societal problem for sure that love and sex are intertwined the way they are
TWO OF THEM
it might help
oh i'm scary
there is a fuckload to unpack there socially, it's true
TWO OF THEM
bc non-aro asexuals get shamed into having sex and non-ace aros get shamed into relationships they aren't prepared for as a result of that thinking
oh i'm scary
but there's nothing wrong with being honest with people about what kind of relationship you're looking for
Gabiluzbad
Like I don't want a girlfriend, I want a girl who is a friend and also sometimes takes her clothes off while I'm in the area
Quinneapolis
as I had pointed out to me when I went poly
Quinneapolis
culturally, we expect one's partner to be their sexual partner, romantic partner, roommate, and best friend
Quinneapolis
all or nothing
Quinneapolis
and that's an ABSURD ask
TWO OF THEM
yup
moontouched
yeah like your romantic partner is supposed to be an eggs in one basket to the point they're supposed to be More Important Than Anyone Ever Including Your Friends and its like
moontouched
that's a huge amount of pressure to put on anyone
Gabiluzbad
IT IS
RobotApocalypse
yeah it's absolutely ridiculous
moontouched
it's frankly just a fucked up ask but SOCIETALLY PEOPLE JUST REALLY THINK THAT'S HOW IT WORKS
Gabiluzbad
I barely ever ask anyone out because that kind of pressure scares the shit out of me
Gabiluzbad
And every date I HAVE been on has felt HORRIBLY awkward and superficial
Gabiluzbad
I've spent 35 years waiting for that spark of TRUE LOVE to hit me and it never has and I don't think it ever will
TWO OF THEM
it sucks because there's like, no way to just be like "hi yes i'm dtf but not to date" in like, a socially acceptable manner???
Gabiluzbad
Yeah it's
Gabiluzbad
a problem
Gabiluzbad
I have been single for a LONG time
TWO OF THEM
i hear all the time "just go to a bar and get shitfaced it'll happen" but what if i want us both to be sober?!?!?!
Gabiluzbad
over a decade
Gabiluzbad
One Night Stands also sound kind of terrible IRL?
Gabiluzbad
I don't want anonymous fucking and I don't want tender romance I want something somewhere inbetween that
TWO OF THEM
the legendary FWB
Gabiluzbad
The myth
Gabiluzbad
the legend
Gabiluzbad
Anyways
Gabiluzbad
I had to say that to let off some brain pressure
RobotApocalypse
i mean, i do think you can just say you're looking for a fwb and it's fine
RobotApocalypse
there's women out there who feel the same way you do
Gabiluzbad
(BRB cooking dinner)
RobotApocalypse
it's just a matter of finding them
Blighty
i think there's enough acceptance now that you could totally put on an app you're just looking for a fwb
Blighty
i've even heard that it can be easier because it's much less commitment instead of 'i'm looking for a life partner who needs to satisfy these requirements'
Quinneapolis
there are absolutely people around on for example OKC who are looking for this
ShootingXC
+1 to this plurk
Gabiluzbad
Back with foods
Gabiluzbad
And you can't just be like "Eric you should try going for the obvious solution for your problems" because then I actually have to DO things and take RISKS
Gabiluzbad
GOD
Gabiluzbad
I should probably, like
Gabiluzbad
reactivate my OKC account
Gabiluzbad
....though the timing is really bad. I can't imagine many people are dating right now
Gabiluzbad
WHEN WE'RE NOT ALL COWERING IN OUR HOUSES
RobotApocalypse
lmao
RobotApocalypse
yeah in a month or so maybe....
Rama
Chiming in late, but being in pretty much the same social situation I've done a lot of reflecting on my gender in mostly-private.
Rama
And I've come to the conclusion that I'm confident in my identity as a dude, but a lot more confident than I was before I started interrogating it
Rama
So it's definitely worth thinking on even if you come to the simpler conclusion.
Gabiluzbad
I was briefly wondering if SLIGHTLY genderfluid might be the right choice, and that I was using RP as an outlet for female moods
moontouched
yeah like it's always worth looking at your gender to see if you're happy with it
Gabiluzbad
You can't just go leave it on the factory settings
Gabiluzbad
You gotta fiddele
Gabiluzbad
fiddle*
moontouched
yeah you gotta do a bit of customisation
moontouched
see what you want installed
Gabiluzbad
Get rid of bloatware
Gabiluzbad
/uninstalls toxic masculinity
Gabiluzbad
(You gotta check the harddrive for that one every once in a while to make sure it hasn't reinstalled itself)
Gabiluzbad
Also to everyone who chimed in here
Gabiluzbad
Thank you for assuring my dumb ass I'm valid
RobotApocalypse
lmfao i'm gonna refer to toxic masculinity that way from now on
RobotApocalypse
a stubborn bloatware program that just keeps trying to reinstall itself
Gabiluzbad
Yeah I thought it was an apt metapho
dragon time
Thou ART valid
Gabiluzbad
r
RobotApocalypse
it's spot-on
Gabiluzbad
Every once in a while you say something without thinking about it and then you're like "Aw what the FUCK was that?"
Echo
You're super valid.
Echo
(I keep having similar vague 'maybe I am I dunno how would I be sure' thoughts about potentially being genderfluid and it's still one big shrug on that one, so. Never hurts to check.)
FʀᴏᴍTʜᴇFɪʀᴇ
so looking in from the outside, "how much time do you spend thinking about this" is definitely part of the test, but there's also a lot of like, discomfort in skin stuff that you don't trip
FʀᴏᴍTʜᴇFɪʀᴇ
like you don't dislike your name and wish for a different one
❆𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻
Eric this is extremely valid, and I'm glad that you're willing to be vulnerable enough to question it, confident enough to be sure of it, and trusting your friends enough to be open about it!! Whoever you decide you are, you're still you, and that's the most important and amazing thing, because you're an amazing person!
PolyaMixedNuts
you are super valid. as someone who thought he was cis until this last year and is now pretty positive he's genderfluid, like.
PolyaMixedNuts
it's sometimes very hard to know what gender feels like
PolyaMixedNuts
and how to separate that from what you feel like
Gabiluzbad
It's super vague, man
PolyaMixedNuts
and sometimes they are the same thing!
PolyaMixedNuts
and we all gotta be free to explore that, and trust me, I think almost everyone who is not cis fully understands being confused by it and needing time to figure it out.
PolyaMixedNuts
being around a lot of non-cis folks, you develop more awareness of The Unasked Questions
PolyaMixedNuts
whereas most people who aren't around a community just paper over them and go on with their day
Zombibble
this is a good plurk
Gabiluzbad
I reread this whole plurk and I'm just like
Gabiluzbad
y'all
Gabiluzbad
y'all are good friends
Gabiluzbad
/hugs everyone in this plurk
Gabiluzbad
/also noogies everyone in this plurk
magnet
...huh. are you me?
𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲
gender is a big bundle of fake societal expectations that get slapped on you cos the doctors decided you had a dong (or didn't have one) BUT: now that you have it it's entirely up to you how to experience your gender and if being a dude is what makes you happy then like
𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲
sincerely: good for you
𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲
OBVIOUSLY I'M LATE AND ALSO CIS but as someone who has had thoughts on the direction of "hmm, do I in fact have a case of The Genders" and then came down pretty firmly on the side of "no, I'm definitely a girl" and like... felt happier for having CHOSE that fit myself, this plurk was just a big mood
Love Snake Kaja
Yeah like there are girls who have no problem with being a fwb. I'm one of those as long as I get still to date someone else romantically. But then again I'm poly by default.
Gabiluzbad
Surely being a boy/girl would be having a bad case of The Genders
Gabiluzbad
Duo and Quinn are cured of this vile disease but we are not
Quinneapolis
I thought I had a case of the genders but I was misdiagnosed
Gabiluzbad
Sad to report I have Terminal Boy
moontouched
it's possible to live a full life with this condition
Gabiluzbad
u.u
Quinneapolis
you just need to take regular infusions of respect women juice
𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲
KSMDMDM
𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲
doctor holding me as a newborn baby: mr and mrs carroll i'm so sorry but your baby has The Genders
[my parents begin weeping profusely]
載入新的回覆