yeah like your romantic partner is supposed to be an eggs in one basket to the point they're supposed to be More Important Than Anyone Ever Including Your Friends and its like
i've even heard that it can be easier because it's much less commitment instead of 'i'm looking for a life partner who needs to satisfy these requirements'
And you can't just be like "Eric you should try going for the obvious solution for your problems" because then I actually have to DO things and take RISKS
(I keep having similar vague 'maybe I am I dunno how would I be sure' thoughts about potentially being genderfluid and it's still one big shrug on that one, so. Never hurts to check.)
so looking in from the outside, "how much time do you spend thinking about this" is definitely part of the test, but there's also a lot of like, discomfort in skin stuff that you don't trip
Eric this is extremely valid, and I'm glad that you're willing to be vulnerable enough to question it, confident enough to be sure of it, and trusting your friends enough to be open about it!! Whoever you decide you are, you're still you, and that's the most important and amazing thing, because you're an amazing person!
and we all gotta be free to explore that, and trust me, I think almost everyone who is not cis fully understands being confused by it and needing time to figure it out.
gender is a big bundle of fake societal expectations that get slapped on you cos the doctors decided you had a dong (or didn't have one) BUT: now that you have it it's entirely up to you how to experience your gender and if being a dude is what makes you happy then like
OBVIOUSLY I'M LATE AND ALSO CIS but as someone who has had thoughts on the direction of "hmm, do I in fact have a case of The Genders" and then came down pretty firmly on the side of "no, I'm definitely a girl" and like... felt happier for having CHOSE that fit myself, this plurk was just a big mood
Yeah like there are girls who have no problem with being a fwb. I'm one of those as long as I get still to date someone else romantically. But then again I'm poly by default.
"I don't think so"
"Aha! That's what someone who's in denial about being trans would say!"
[my parents begin weeping profusely]