ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
I am too old for this 
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Gävlebocken
seriously tho
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
I mean yeah she made shitty decisions but his family is not her responsibility
꓅ꑛꍟ ꆂꅐ ꒒ꋫꁕꐟ✨
Pet peeve: when a woman is blamed for a man cheating on his wife.
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
I am less upset if both parties are blamed esp when the woman knows without a doubt he’s married but when only the woman is blamed??
Gävlebocken
'she knew what she was doing' yeah, so did he
꓅ꑛꍟ ꆂꅐ ꒒ꋫꁕꐟ✨
^^^
Gävlebocken
and tbh depending on how old this girl is vs. how old the dude is? definitely a factor
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Cause yeah it is shitty to the other woman and to yourself to get involved with a man who is cheating
Gävlebocken
(hi, I'm Sterling and this is why I don't like age gaps)
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Ehm I love age gaps but
Gävlebocken
yeah, my ma' always said: "If he's cheating with you he'll cheat on you."
꓅ꑛꍟ ꆂꅐ ꒒ꋫꁕꐟ✨
^^^
Gävlebocken
I mean, it's different when both parties are for sure adults
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
The average daycare worker is between 25-35 probably and the average parents are usually between 23-32 ish for daycare children’s
Gävlebocken
but like 40+ y/o dude and 20 y/old girl?
Gävlebocken
But yes, strictly on topic: dude knew wtf he was doing too, this isn't all on her
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
I mean I do believe in cheaters reforming. I had a long conversation about it and especially under 30 people sometimes I have not gained the emotional maturity to break up normally
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Simply Bc they aren’t happy and satisfied anymore
꓅ꑛꍟ ꆂꅐ ꒒ꋫꁕꐟ✨
Yeah, I don't believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater," It definitely depends on the person.
Gävlebocken
you know what? that's fair. I don't tend to think of it in the under-thirty crowd
Gävlebocken
my brain defaults to much older man/much younger woman (or man, sometimes 
)
)
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
And honestly some cheaters just need to learn what polyamory is and find partners that are okay w it
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Like a kid that cheats on someone in high school might not always be a cheater. They’re just dumb
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
But yeah I’m just like why in this group that is 99% female are you blaming the woman
ʝօʏʄʊʟ
Yeah, my ex husband cheated on me and hasn’t cheated on his new girl as far as I know. They’ve been together 11 years now, same amount of time I was with him.
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Well he wasn’t a very mature dude when I knew him
ʝօʏʄʊʟ
He’s worse now.
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Wowzers
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Has he been less shitty to the boys
ʝօʏʄʊʟ
Nope. He doesn’t even want to recognize them as his. I sent him a pic of Toby at graduation, and he was like “who’s kid is that” I’m like “yours” he said “biologically. I wouldn’t know him if I saw him on the street. I’ve got two boys I’m raising right now that are mine. Don’t bother to text me again”
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
God
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
I mean not surprising. The only thing I remember him doing w them when I was there was yelling
ʝօʏʄʊʟ
He thinks that it was all the boys fault because they didn’t call him when they were 6 and 4, when he left. It was their job, not his.
ʝօʏʄʊʟ
So emotionally abusive. I left the second he became physically so.
Exacerangutan
I would guess the reason for the blaming is a mix of "habit" and "if I blame her then I don't have to blame him as much"
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
God I hate him so much to this day
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
At the time I could not understand why you were staying w him but I was still kinda a kid and dumb
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Exacerangutan
: but why why do they not want to blame him
Exacerangutan
because if the person you picked is an asshole 1. you might have to respond by changing your relationship to them, and 2. you might feel responsible for picking badly (even if that's not entirely fair)
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
Exacerangutan
especially if after the fact you retroactively start seeing the hints that they're not as reliable as you used to think, but you don't want to admit you just missed those signs before
Exacerangutan
people double down hard on all kinds of things once they're emotionally invested in them >_>
ᴏᴋᴀʀᴜɴ 👾
How is jesendj comment offensive omg this is probably a trump supporter
Exacerangutan
also traditional gender roles sort of take it for granted that men can't just... not bone anything halfway willing