[cw johnny depp stuff]

thinking about this makes me tired

I did a plurk about a year ago basically saying

Girl: "My boyfriend is abusive, here's 80 pages of receipts"

Twitter/Thinkpieces: "In the end, we just don't have enough evidence. Do we simply accept things that people say at face value, or do we hold proof to a higher standard? I don't know what to think, so I won't say anything."

Boyfriend: "no u"

Twitter/Thinkpieces: "AHA, WE HAVE FOUND THE TRUE VILLAIN, THIS EVIL ABUSIVE WITCH, WHO WE MUST NOW BURN"

and now here we are

yes

My understanding, although I am not an expert, is that it is common for abuse to have violence on both sides, and it is a common abuser tactic to try to use that to shut the victim down

I don't know what happened, nor do I think that Johnny Depp's audio receipts immediately mean that he's not an abuser

The truth is probably messy and impossible to prove either way

I am tired

hm

I'm researching more and was unaware of some of this

IS depp the victim? christ

I feel like I'm falling for something like a chump whichever side I end up on, which is probably the intent of one side but I don't know which one

I guess I don't have any ability to affect what the result is so does my opinion even matter

I just want to understand what's going on

I read the transcript

I don't know anything for certain but It's making me think about something that I didn't before

and that's how we all talk about abusers and how the abused can abuse back and all

and because at this point we're inclined to back up women due to years of their stories being discounted

So that we forget that it goes both ways

I made a Plurk about this not long ago. It might’ve been anon. But my impression in this specific case is that they both have substance abuse problems that result in violent behavior. I have no vested interest in defending either of them (and sided against Depp at first) but coming back to it after a while it was not what it appeared to be at first.