home sick today

went through that negotiating with myself i often do in winter mornings (and autumn mornings. and spring mornings). "am i really sick or does it just feel that way now when i lie down? c'me on. you need to go up on your feet and make sure." answering myself, "but i don't wanna. i don't feel good."

"yes i know but you need to make sure because you could be healthy and once you're up and dressed and have breakfast you'll know."

"sleep good, lie down good, stand up bad."

in the end it was the lure of getting some hot tea with honey that made me get up to make that tea/go to the bathroom/etc. and realize it wasn't a delusion, i do feel sick for real.

still feel kinda uneasy like maybe i could still go to work if i truly pushed myself. and did we have something important to do today at work, some important meeting to attend? i can't recall.