nothing like hearing my mother trash talk my older brother

to my grandmother of all people

i had to leave the room; the sad part is, my brother, his wife, and my nephews would love to talk to her

really fucking hurts. i'm still convinced the reason why she's been so aggressive with me since she severed communication with him because i still try and actively talk to all of them and my aunt

and everyone says the same thing: they want to talk to her because they love her

now she's telling my gramma "she bought him" referring to my aunt

i fucking hate all of this shit

we wouldn't HAVE this situation if anyone in this fucking family weren't so avoidant to talk to each other. no one wants to admit that they fucked up or admit to making the wrong choices. all this petty ass shit of people asserting somehow money plays a role

and my poor brother is honestly heart-broken. he asks about her!! any time we talk

and it makes me so mad i'm still in the middle of all of this and everyone keeps telling me i'm not. no, fuck that. i've been dealing with someone who's been erratic, mean-spirited, and in denial since 2005

i was just thinking the other day how my 20s were garbage. they were! i spent all of my twenties struggling with all of this

and i hate how i still can't afford to see my brother and his family. it's been since 2005...

i will never, EVER do this with my brothers. EVER