I wish I could just eat a piece of cake and enjoy it without freaking out a little. Treats and trauma, man

What freaks you out about it?

Invisible Duck : it’s cake!!!!

Is it snail cake?

Invisible Duck : like sugar flour fat calories. I fear that

Should I know the reason or do I have to keep doing this Wheel of Fortune thing?

Invisible Duck : Dude I just am always scared that treating myself could lead to an increase of pant size

And a fine ass indeed! Have two pieces!

Invisible Duck : omg nuuuuuuu can’t can’t because I like my skinny jeans

Big butts!

Invisible Duck : I wish it all went to my ass. I don’t want bigger tatas nuuuuu ty

But I do!

listen, I'm not saying that you shouldn't take care of how you look, however nobody on their deathbed thinks about the times they wore skinny jeans, they think about the times they spent being carefree enjoying life. Eat the cake once in a while, everything is fine in moderation

Except sex. NO MODERATION!

Invisible Duck : gives you a cup size off mah bewbs

Honey Bunny : thanks bb. I need to work on this. I have a low amount of chill lol

Invisible Duck : all the consensual, intimate sex, please. I gotta got hit up my hubs...😈

Yeah yeah