probably a babble post but I cannot lie I mostly posted this so someone else can experience this horror with me
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probably a babble post but I cannot lie I mostly posted this so someone else can experience this horror with me
probably a babble post but I cannot lie I mostly posted this so someone else can experience this horror with me
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So my new roommate just got hit by a car??? I’m....
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She’s okay. No broken bones or anything but jfc
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Some asshole was on his cellphone while she was walking in the cross walk and just dIDNT STOP AT THE RED LIGHT
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I’ve also been arting but I don’t wanna show more wip until I finish this gotdamn kylo piece
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It’s nearly done
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Oh and I attempted jotting down a basic bare bones timeline and You know.
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Though I will admit it does help contextualize a bunch of events as I decide on plot elements which were kinda murky beforehand
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Hopefully I shall return later tonight with kylo art done
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I did create a wip dump chat on fb and I’m laughing like “ISnt this usually a patreon tier?”
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Should charge all these bitches $20 a month
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LOOK AT THESE SCRIBBLES PLEBS
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THEY ARE PRIVILEGED SCRIBBLES
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Oh wait on an even better note I ran into the weirdest!best asmr video category. Basically your bestie helps you out on ur first night as a stripper. And it’s a lot more wholesome and nice than most rps and I feel ready for my exotic dancing career
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Stripper Friend 'Carbon' Does Your Makeup Be...
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Also this is Nike’s voice now
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Tho the question is how much do I want to write slang into her dialogue, because some of it could just be jarring and not fit with her character
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“You want your make up to look like mines” for example.
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And I’m debating on the idea of her referring to everyone as “honey”
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I have never witnessed someone screwing up their chances of dating me faster
I have never witnessed someone screwing up their chances of dating me faster
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It would be kind of beautiful if it wasn’t pathetic
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W H I T E M E N W H Y A R E Y O U L I K E T H I S
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I just burned shit down on Facebook over this. I win no reward except disgust with myself over ever being attracted to this bullshit
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Lmao why is my sexuality a trashfire.
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It’s fine. I wasn’t super into him I just vibed really well with him and I thought maybe I could but
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Nah
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The too long didn’t read of it. A reasonable white dude or two commented on my post remarking how they didn’t like the David chapelle skit either
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I joked with one about not liking a specific comment I made because it made em sweat
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(Essentially I was talking about burning crosses on lawns and murdering children in churches and would Dave find those things funny)
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And he commented back essentially saying he, as a white man, had no place to say anything on any of this shit
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And that just started this whole sarcastic rant by me of saying “wow a white man who understands he comes from privilege???”
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which led in to me quoting specific incidents from my family which I know about
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My mother was spat on by a client (tho I think it may have been the prosecutors client I forget) when she was an attorney. My light ass has been called a nigger. Some dumbass professors got my brother kicked out of his jazz program in college
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Like there’s more but I was just goin for the highlights that maybe even a white man could understand
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And then I essentially tagged him with a “Caleb. This is your tape”
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Should I have done it privately? Yes
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Was it impulsive and rash? Yup
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But when a dude privately and then publicly gaslights you by saying “they’re just joking and trolling!!!!”
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And you think to yourself “if I go to him privately again he’s gonna so the exact same thing”
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I’m just unwilling to be nice. Especially since the special made fun of rape victims
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Rape victims of PEDOPHILES
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And this is why no one will date you Naima. Yes I know.
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I’m an asshole
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but at least I didn’t lock myself into that shit
but at least I didn’t lock myself into that shit
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Oh I’m also tired of having to be civil and try to walk people through these issues gently because I’ve done that shit my entirely life
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Having to explain why the shit around that football player kneeling was racist. Why black people are still mad about slavery. Having to explain why someone saying they just “thought I was having a bad hair day” when they found out I was black is fucked up.
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I’m tired of explaining why what my uncle did fucked me up. Why I don’t like black movies but I understand why they are there. Why “hey yeah calling a black woman a gorilla isn’t inherently racist, but you should NOT”
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Of explaining why I know exactly why Tiana isn’t more popular and yes it is the color of her tucking skin you fucking moron. Of explaining why I am so vocal. And of walking people through every. Fucking. Instance of bullshit I’ve ever gone through. Because this isn’t a click bait article for me
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This is my fucking life. This is the rest of my life.
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It’s not fun being black. If not great. I was sheltered as a kid especially because of my skin but slowly and surely it was like “wait what????”
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My brothers school trying to get him kicked out of college was one of my first big slaps in the face. Because it wasn’t like a decade ago or some history textbook thing.
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My brother was so defeated he came home in secret.
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He didn’t even want to fight it
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My mom blew the fuck up and forced the college to admit their decision was a bad one and when pressed they reissued the test and wow this time he PASSED
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(TLDR on that. My bro went to school for music. They don’t have midterms or finals but juries. You sit and play and they give you critique and a pass or fail essentially)
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(Third year in my brother had to do one w classical music as a saxophonist. He hates classical music but he did it ofc. They failed him. His jury sheet had one sentence critiques where as his white friends had. Paragraphs. And they passed)
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(Also impt. My brother is an amazing saxophonist. Amazing as in got two full rides from white dudes who heard his playing and funded all of his schooling good. He got scholarship offers from fucking cal arts good. So this is just to say it was VERY clear why they failed him and it had nothing to do with his playing ability)
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My brother still bounced and went to a completely different college because FUCK THAT PLACE
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Like. I wish I lived in a world where all of this was a terrible joke or a troll
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Fact is the only reason my brother got back into school is that my family is well off, my mother has the determination of a black hole eating the very existence of everything, and he had the head of the program backing him. A very famous saxophone musician who if they lost him? It destroyed the entire appeal of the program
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I’m sure there are hundreds... no. Thousands more kids who face the same shit as what my brother did and they have no way to fight it
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And maybe this shit doesn’t affect me day to day but really. Sitting there and seeing all that shit about black ariel and people calling her horrible names and making awful jokes and spinning themselves into a fucking tapestry to explain why she could never be black broke my heart and soul
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All I could imagine is seeing that as a little black kid and realizing this who fucking country hates you
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That you have your designated princess and that’s it. Don’t you ever think you can step out of that role
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I suppose post trump has been another awakening for me. Like with what happened with my brother
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Just understanding how deeply a good chunk of your own country don’t want you simply because of who you were born to
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Lmao and the world lbr
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Well with that depressed self loathing rant out of the way and the cats have scattered to the corners of the block to hide from a kid with his ac car. I shall return indoors and draw