The internet says that if I spend $26 on manuka honey I can use that one jar of manuka honey to reduce cholesterol, heal more quickly, cure diabetes, disinfect my orifices, improve my digestion, whiten my teeth, get rid of my acne, and cure cancer.

no way that could be wrong

All I have to do is rub a small jar of $26 manuka honey all over my body, inside all of my holes, on all of my teeth, on each of my teeth, and consume it like 3 times a day

By the way a $26 jar of manuka honey is like a toothpaste tube's worth of honey

by the way only manuka honey this doesn't work if you use shitty $3 honey it has to be $26 honey

yeah I'm actually curing my cancer right now

Redoing my budget so I can spend $780-806/month on manuka honey

um that wasn't just manuka honey. it also had apple cider vinegar so you're curing even more.

Oh so you're saying my $26 pudding cup of manuka honey is cut with something I can buy at Ralph's for $1.69?

yes

I am going to bathe in apple cider vinegar not for the benefits just for that fresh pickle smell

you should surprise Andrew with that