... that friend is me and I'm trying to prove a point to my aunt who keeps bitching about how I'm not the first PhD in the family because she has a law degree and I'm trying not to punch her in the tit
the tl;dr is that my aunt is a giant bitch and has to be better than everyone at everything, and it's really upsetting me that she's trying to devalue my achievements like this
I think defining your boundaries more clearly will help with the resulting anxiety, because you don't need validation for your life's work. You're enough.
That's true. I should. I need to define my boundaries with her. The main problem with that is when I try, she gets defensive and -- shouty and so I just avoid confrontation by sitting and taking it.
I'd definitely advise leaving the room, possibly with a statement of "I'm not engaging in this discussion while you're being confrontational." Definitely don't stay there. You aren't obligated to endure that.
That's so very true. And like it's not even about this. Everything is a fight. Everything is an argument. Everything is something she has to win. From -- what a JD is to what goes into a Sea Breeze
And I worked retail for four years between bachelor's and grad school, so. Thank you for boosting my confidence, it just sucks ass that she's this way. She always has been and as much as I try to let it slide off she always manages to get under my skin
because first of all it's not like it's something everyone needs to, wants to, or even should do... and second, as far as I'm aware, 6 years is pretty middle-of-the-road in many fields and it varies a lot between fields
I think her most bizarre flex so far (this trip) was "I went on vacation to China with Lawrence Fishburn and it definitely wasn't Gina Torres with him, so I don't know why you're saying she's his wife"
I got my PhD at 36... ...I also didn't start college until I was 23, and I finished a BA in English before I did a second in Physics, so, gasp, doing different things takes different amounts of time?????
..........I mean I don't like to speak ill of other people's family and/or people I don't know but, totally in a vacuum, this really sounds like someone reaching desperately for excuses to shit on other people... >_>
When mom was like "We're so proud of Mimi, first PhD in the family wow!" her kneejerk response was to say she technically has a doctorate too so I'm not really the first
It's not about the degree, it's about the interaction between you and the boundaries you have to set as an adult.