Well, somebody has a stick up her ass today!

If you mean me, why yes... Yes I do!

Remote control.

As long as it's not a sharp stick, I generally don't have a problem with that.

In a good way or in a bad way?

Sticks are too sharp. There's toys made for that or a whole array of veggies that would work far better than a stick

I assume stick in this case would be metaphorical and could represent an entire range of recreational anal insertion items.

Ain’t nothing going up my ass until tomorrow’s colonoscopy!

I hope she used a lot of lube. Sometimes they're easy to get in but a lot harder to get out.