It's 8:30 PM and I'm debugging horseshit written in visual basic 20 years ago for a client who refuses to cooperate and has never done anything productive or helpful in the past three months

Good lord.

My computer knowledge pretty much tops out at "turn it off and on again", and even I know that visual basic is fucky.

Visual basic was fine

for beginners

in 2000

last time I had to debug a case like this it took half a day

I'm going to be bashing my head against this until midnight