I told my mom, who visits for 1-2 days per week during the summer, I wasn't going to plant the garden this year- and instead I was going to work on the defenses against the rabbits. While I was gone across memorial day weekend, she planted things in one of the beds (sloppily) and threw a bunch of milk crates and odds and ends over them.

I don't want to have to keep up on watering and weeding and replacing crates when they topple over, or put them away during high wind thunderstorms. She's not here often enough to do all of that.

When she called today and asked "How's my garden doing?" playfully- I told her that I removed all of the crates because I haven't seen the bunnies since I scared the mom by checking in on her babies. She started to complain about the rabbits and I just wasn't having it. I told her that there's no way that those plants would survive not being watered 4+ days

And that I had enough to do that I wasn't going to be doing it.

I got an apology. I'm just still irritated by it because it happens often enough that I set a boundary with the house and she just goes and oversteps it.

Your irritation is totally justified. It’s your house, your yard, your decision whether to garden or not. She had no right to so anything she did, and certainly no right to expect you to follow up on what she clearly had no interest in completing!

Άτροπος : thank you. I know it on a rational level that I'm right, but it's my mom, and she has issues that I know intimately about so I'm often very soft on her- but that doesn't help me in the long run, and it probably doesn't help our relationship. I'm glad that I stood up this time.

I'm also feeling anxious because my own to-do list for the house and yard got pushed back by my feeling ill at the end of last week- so it was a sore subject already.

Well, pat yourself on the back for standing up to her this time! Hopefully next time will be easier (if needed!). Everything else will come together in time.