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[life] hmmm I think I should quit one of my jobs for sanity. And I think the one I should quit is the one I dread more
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There’s one that pays higher and I like the hours more, but the other has benefits I like
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But the one with benefits I’m sick of
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Cuz it feels like such a time sink and sleeping not in my bed is jarring while trying desperately to make a routine
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Also I can feel myself becoming frayed and angry
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hmm
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Yeah the only downside is that I’m good at the job I hate now and finding good people for it is hard
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Like eventually I want to quit the well paying job too cuz they’re becoming more stringent in a way that fucks with my anxiety
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Like, they’re starting quarterly reviews even though we’re technically minimum wage
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Which I can take but depending on my mood is a huge morale weight
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Other thing job I hate has is paid time off
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Which is nice? But.... it accumulates so slowly I may as well just work harder at one job and save up
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I wanna be home more
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I wanna get back into art and be places that are good for my mental health
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I know everyone wants that ofc but
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Yeah
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I’ve been considering what uses my mental real estate and it’s not ideal
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I did some cleaning and soul searching at the same time.....
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I want enough money to have my own vehicle, even if its like a motor scooter
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And I want to start the day in the same place every morning....
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I’m relearning what makes me tick
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gonna sleep on it all of course just...... bleh