Tired but thinking about stealth lgbt rep in The Greatwinter Trilogy by Sean McMullen

The first time I read through the book I was like "That was cool too bad everyone was straight I like being able to recommend gay stuff to my gay friends"

On subsequent reads I actually internalized two things

1: One of the characters has their brain copied into a computer when they die, only to later be redownloaded into the body of a girl who's mind had been destroyed by brain damage from suffocation

She was originally a man but eventually admitted that she actually felt more comfortable as a woman

(Though as a man he was a don juan style huge flirt and that went away as a woman and I felt like that was chickening out)

2: One of the other characters is a lady who marries a dude in the traditional fashion

BUT

Their religion allows for polygamy within certain restrictions

And she basically bulllies her husband into marrying another woman who she knows very well and has described as "loving like a sister" or "the only woman who is truly my equal"

So like

Trans and bisexual polyamory or just the author not thinking things through?

I have no idea