:)
cause of death: got lotion alllllll on a hugeass water bottle, then juggled it like a fucking clown
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you know someone should do a psa
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if you GET SOMETHING SLIPPERY on your GRASPING HANDS you're gonna fuck up
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get caught staring at a doorknob that just dolphin'd from your grip with utter stupefaction at this turn of events
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water bottle at least is a new one
curby&coughing
i had to stop using a lotion right before bed because i was too stupid to remember to open the bathroom door before i put it on
curby&coughing
and i kept locking myself in the bathroom
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kjasnh;zlkdfj ;dffg
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FUCKING
:)
YOU GET IT
curby&coughing
I HAD TO SWAP TO A WORSE LOTION
curby&coughing
THAT WOULD ALLOW ME THE GRIP STRENGTH
curby&coughing
TO TURN THE FUCKING HANDLE
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nah nah nah here's the secret
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you just put lotion by your bed
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........but let it dry before you try to get a drink from the water you also hoard by your bed
curby&coughing
i sleep on a loft bed so
curby&coughing
there's no room
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that's the saddest thing i've ever heard
curby&coughing
i have a little basket tied up there that holds my phone and the remote to the air conditioner but it won't hold anything heavy
curby&coughing
i guess i could put little lotions in there
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i was just thinking how there isn't a problem in the world that can't be solved with a bookcase headboard and now i'm playing despacito for you, mentally
curby&coughing
bc ngl it's also hard to climb a ladder with lotion feet
curby&coughing
really i should just get a shelf or some shit but as we've established im a dumbass
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get one of those bed...side shelf things yeah
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or like the bed holsters
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also don't climb LADDERS with LOTION FEET holy shit
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like how do you have water???? at night?????
curby&coughing
ITS OK I DO IT EVERY DAY
curby&coughing
or well every day in the winter
curby&coughing
also what is a bed holster
curby&coughing
i googled it and found a fabric thing that goes on your mattress so you can put your gun there so tonight's cancelled
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Amazon.com : Aspire Bedside Caddy Bed Organizer Stor... this binch
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or similar
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forgot the word caddy
curby&coughing
i never realized these existed and i feel like a fool
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you can store things everywhere
curby&coughing
does that one just tuck under the mattress
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iiiii think so? i think there's ones w maybe....straps
curby&coughing
yeah that would probably be best
curby&coughing
cuz the bunk buddies are like, a press system, and my bars are rounded
curby&coughing
so i cant imagine that'd work well
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i do not understand a single thing in that sentence
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what.......is underneath a loft bed
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we all lofted our beds in college to be cool but it was just putting our beds on top of two bookcases
curby&coughing
oh mine has a desk
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i guess it didn't occur to me that you could just do that outside of a college
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now i really want to be up high
curby&coughing
its nice
curby&coughing
mine looks like this
mine looks like this
curby&coughing
mostly i just keep like, a filing cabinet under there for documents and stuff. and then the top of the desk is all bullshit
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this is so appealing except i don't actually want to sleep up high i just want to be up high sometimes
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i want a loft but the bed is still on the bottom also it's queen size
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that's so much extra space, this revolutionizes everything
curby&coughing
oh you can do that i think
curby&coughing
mine's a full size
curby&coughing
ok im sorry i actually went looking for that and found this 
curby&coughing
help
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looking at that makes the boss fight music from a zelda game start playing in my head
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it reminds me of. when i worked at the library, the children's section had this......'stage' for like, puppet shows
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but it was just made out of pvc pipe bullshit
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and like of course children just clambered all over it all the time, this was the worst library imaginable, i swear a third of my job responsibilities were just 'make sure kids don't manage to off themselves'
curby&coughing
as someone who worked in a graduate school library for a year- I feel this