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[CREATURE ROLE] ep 35
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sam riegel is someday going to transcend time and space to become the literal, living concept of a meme
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god of memes, patron to trickery domain clerics, rogues, and probably also certain warlocks
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i love the "???" in matt's voice when he mentions fjord raised AN UNDEAD SPECTER FROM A DEAD GUY
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i bet deuce isn't gonna like that
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algar has no fucking idea what's going on
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i almost feel bad for him
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meanwhile zsundie or xundi is like "so can i eat him now tho"
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HAHA OH FUCK
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NICODRANAS IS FUCKED
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deuce: IS THAT A FUCKING GHOST
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"a gortle"
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port damali has a marid too....
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THE MEIGHTY NEIN ARE GOING TO PROBABLY DESTROY THE ECONOMY
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caleb: i'm gonna eat you
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nott: you people are fucked up
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THE MEIGHTY NEIN HAS BECOMING THE MOST INTIMIDATING FUCKING GROUP IN THE ENTIRE REALM
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caleb threatening cannibalism, fjord completely destroying this guy's psyche, deuce casually turning the guy's arm into mulch
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beau crushing his windpipe and forcing him to tell the truth
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i literally cannot believe
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THEYR'E ANNIHILATING THIS GUY
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I ACTUALLY FEEL BAD FOR HIM
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"blackouts for the entire eastern seaboard"
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"here's one platinum" jfkdlasjkfl
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"turn undead! turn undead! turn undead! turn undead!"
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fjdskalfjdksal
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THIS IS A MESS
curby&coughing
this episode was SO fucking much
ORBITAL★WOBBLE
This is the episode where I had to hear “this wouldn’t have happened if Molly was here” and “wow guys way to be an evil campaign” and “but you guys said you were gonna leave every place better than you found it!!!” For like a month afterwards
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Because they somehow forgot Molly would be down with tanking an economy over a slavery issue after the Iron Shepherds but you know let’s forget that slavery trauma in favor of Saint Molly cool
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You’re literally in the episode my Saint Molly salt was birthed from and he isn’t even IN IT
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SORRY PEN IM HAVING A ‘NAM FLASHBACK IN YOUR PLURK. I’m done I promise
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You get to miss all the drama now except people are still calling the M9 an evil campaign to this day. We’ll never escape that
curby&coughing
oh god i forgot that was this episode
curby&coughing
this was such a good ep too this fandom was just
curby&coughing
LORT
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The fandom did not like many decisions made in this episode and they’re dumb
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i am loving this ep so far man so idec
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Good
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let's be real we all wish we could DESTROY THE LIVES OF SEXUAL HARASSERS WHOLESALE
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It is a delightful episode
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esp ones that enslave things
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also i looked it up and it's not like marids are evil or anything. they're chaotic neutral
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Right??
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Honestly I came out of that like
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Bitch got off easy
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You fucked with Marion Lavorre the nicest lady ever and also enslaved a nice water man
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You deserve this
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nott: you should never lie to your mother
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Yeah and people keep forgetting A CREATURE FROM THE ELEMENTAL PLANE OF WATER
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OWES THEM A LIFE DEBT
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yeah, also the party almost tpk in that fight, so
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I HAVENT FORGOTTEN IM EXCITED FOR THEM TO CASH THAT CHIT IN
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and yeah consdering they have a life debt with this xundi guy, and not just that but an INVITATION to his palace
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They had some anger to work out man
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i feel like that's some good karma that fjord is probs gonna need
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Yeah that was a fucking boon even if Nicodranas is having an energy crisis
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It’ll recover
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A life debt and a free trip to Atlantica is forever
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marion is so good and i love her
WAO SUGOI!!!!
plus IIRC the water was driving mostly indstry and the like?
WAO SUGOI!!!!
so it's not like anyone's life is OVER
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We stopped water pollution!
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"fjord swallowed a ball and it's inside him now and he's not sure what's going on with that"
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It basically just affected the big businesses from what I can see so in this climate that feels pretty good
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Stick it to the man M9
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caleb: INTERCEPT
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i love jester's relationship with her mom
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time to go threaten marius
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jfkdasljfdkslajfkldasjfkldsajfkldsajfkds
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I FED OUR ENGAGEMENT RING TO THE RABIES DOLLPHINS
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DAJKLFD
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traci is homegirl
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i love matt's maps and i love that the whole group loves matt's maps
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"isn't summer's eve a douche?"
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"it's definitely for when your vajayjay itches"
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"SUMMER'S DANCE"
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and once again they are FAILING AT LIFE
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absolute team fail
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this is such a bad idea
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5d8 fruit damage
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matt: :c
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liam and laura are quietly singing a little fall of rain
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matt had this cool pirate captain guy who's about to get wasted without the party finding out ANYTHING about who he is or what's even going on
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this party is like entirely a "magnus rushes in" mentality
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yasha EVISCERATED him
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"i just wanted to see you roll" 
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laura: ugghhhhhh i guess i'll do cleric stuufffff
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JESTER AND MERLE WOULD GET ALONG
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caleb: burn it? like this? /fireball
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"this is not a moral group"
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you know, i think that like, as a group? chaotic neutral and occasionally chaotic good
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also LISTEN, MOST GROUPS KIND OF START OUT THIS WAY
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they really do like
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god they are fucking soooo much up i'm fjkdlaj
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we saw Vox Machina after they had become a functional group and had allies and respect and shit to a certain extent
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pre-stream
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they called themselves the SHITS
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every dungeons and dragons party begins as a failboat
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oh my god i'm dying
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THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE LMFAO WHAT IF THEY'RE JUST REGULAR SAILORS
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shit happens man
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it's a good thing they didn't set the wharf on fire
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imagine if they destroyed the city's power grid AND ALSO burned the docks
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CABARET REFERENCES
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OH GOD LIAM NO! NOW I'M ENVISIONING CALEB AS THE EMCEE
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WITH THAT ACCENT! OH NO! OH NO!
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hobo wizard: wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome! im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!
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LEAFF. YOUR TROUBLES. outside
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vee haff no! troubles! here!
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the entire rest of the party: [idk man]
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EXPEDITIOUS RETREAT
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caleb is MADE OF LIGHTNING
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i feel like the benny hill theme is the fucking theme of this ENTIRE campaign
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what deuce REALLY wants to do here is Ghost Sound, i think
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....how interesting, ghost sound isn't in my player's handbook
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maybe it's pathfinder only??
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i think it's pathfinder only
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like SO MANY good cleric shit
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can you imagine if Cad could channel energy
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pathfinder and 3.5
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maybe ghost sound was folded into thaumaturgy?
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man you know
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you know what i DO NOT miss from 3.5/pathfinder
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alchemist extracts being that THE PERSON YOU GIVE THEM TO has to take them themselves
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you can't dump an extract down someone's throat like you do with a potion
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we have an alchemist and it's a pain in the ass because she makes all these helpful extracts that she then can't use or has to fudge the rules to use
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anyway i can't believe they're stealing a boat FOR NO REASON
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THIS IS LIKE A IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY EPISODE
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"the gang steals a boat for no reason"
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this whole campaign is just an it's always sunny episode starring the guardians of the galaxy
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AND THEN CALEB
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SET THE DOCK ON FIRE
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"jester, you remember how you couldn't come back to this town?"
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also they're leaving deuce behind
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travis: leaves
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JESTER FUCKING CHARMED THE GUARDS
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THEN CALEB FUCKING SUGGESTED THE GUY AWAY
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this is
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the weirdest episode
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it sure is
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THEY'VE SUCCESSFULLY STOLEN A FUCKING BOAT
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TRAVIS PUT HIS HEAD DOWN ON THE TABLE
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DEUCE IS SWIMMING BLINDLY TOWARD THE BOAT AT HALF SPEED
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THE GANG JUST STOLE A BOAT
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JESTER'S DUPLICATE JUST KILLED HERSELF
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TWO GUARDS ARE SWIMMING AROUND LOOKING FOR HER
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THE OTHERS ARE TRYING TO SHAKE THEM OUT OF IT
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CALEB IS TRAPPED BELOW DECK WITH A PIRATE
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MARIUS IS BEING CRUSHED BY AN AASIMAR AND A GOBLIN
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BEAU IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SAIL
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THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING EPISODE
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SOMETHING'S IN THE WATER WITH DEUCE
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at least they're getting marius to talk now
FloppyFeet
dude the pirate captain guy who just fucking showed up and instantly died was named javid
FloppyFeet
and my name was "captain javid jawgrasp" for literal months afterwards, i only changed it TODAY
FloppyFeet
but matthew mercer said my name and ill die with that knowledge
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SHE LEFT HER OWL
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OH MY GOD REALLY
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THAT'S AMAZING
FloppyFeet
he says it in the next episode i think
FloppyFeet
like AFTER THE DUDE IS DEAD he drops the knowledge that he has my name and i was watching live and i exploded instantly
FloppyFeet
*my name on twitter
FloppyFeet
i forgot to fucking notate that i forgot im on plurk and not twitter hi
Zak
That episode was so crazy I loved it
WAO SUGOI!!!!
this episode is fucking Peak dnd
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absolute chaos