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Having to go through a lot of art that was in storage has had me thinking a lot lately about how much more....I used to draw...
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or how i used to draw, period
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currently if I crack open a sketch book every 6 months I'm lucky
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I have like, DOZENS of sketch books I have to decide what to do with....becausr I used to like, fill one cover to cover every couple months
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I have this horrible habit where if something makes me sad I
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aggressively avoid it
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And also anything thay reminds me of it
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When I came back from Japan and I was really depressed about my semester being cut so short I not only stopped studying japanese because it made me sad, I couldn't watch or read anything in japanese for AGES. I STILL KIND OF CANT.
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Like. It's bad enough I working on art is a no go....But not working on art makes me depressed so I also can't LOOK at art
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I dont read comics or look at art online because it reminds me of not doing art
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Which in turn is probably definitely self fulfilling
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Like if I let myself read comics and look at art I might be inspired to do it
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Honestly I think that's half of why I'm so bored lately....whenever I'm not doing a productive hobby, I also can't let myself do the consuming version of it
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So I kind of dont do anything with a lot of my free time that's not like. life stuff.
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I dont feel like i have the coping tools to break myself out of the cycle either
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I'm also sad because i feel like
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The more time goes by, the less relevant my art even has the potential to be
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i feel like even when i was in art school I wasn't doing the right type of art
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And now as people who were teens when i was in art school are GRADUATING from art school themselves, I'm REALLY not doing the right type of art
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Relevancy was always something I struggled with in art and I feel like I've already lost my window of having a chance at it
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I mean obviously you can always do your own thing, but you know. if you want to even make a small income
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I feel like, my influences are already outdated
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AND HONESTLY were not very relevant when i was in school. which was always a problem
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and not because i feel like....I was especially creative or anything
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if anything I feel like i had and still have a distinct lack of voice in my art that makes it distinct or memorable and therefore. applicable to anything
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I was always really focused on like. my own exploration of art and stories which is
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fun but
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unless it leads you somewhere really fresh or you're just, really skilled and hardworking....It's not a way to become commercial
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And I do think at least the ABILITY to be commercial is super important to art as a job
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And also great networking which a lot of my classmates who ate currently successful, were really good at
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No small coincidence that most of them were men
Hall Decker
fermentingbones
I don't think it's too late to be relevant, baby. but I do think you're right, it's hard to restart when you're not watching or reading or experiencing art.
fermentingbones
avoidance is really hard. but I don't believe that you have to learn how to do all this stuff in your late teens + early twenties to ever be successful
rädiänt
Hey Sam
rädiänt
Can I commission you to draw a Japan travelogue
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