I haven't had the mental bandwidth for RP or like... anything, in weeks. I don't know if I should consider a Hiatus or not?

I need to be doing so much more than I am right now like, I have to be applying for jobs and getting my portfolio up to scratch, but there's almost no point so close to christmas because noone is hiring and/or i'm just getting straight up rejecitons

My housing situation is precarious at best at the moment; and I have to figure out where I'll be going after April. I could continue to work at this shitty, shitty hotel and stay in Winchester, I could move to london with my current housemates and try to find a job on the fly, which will likely cripple my finances, or I can go back home

Which is rent free, but I would not last three months before reverting to back serious self harm and suicidal tendancies

because my mother is there, and she's just casually going about her fucking affair while trying to keep my dad, who has, by the way, been idiot enough to fall hook line and sinker for her pity plea

And I just don't know what I'm doing at this point

I feel so goddamned useless and unskilled

My first advice is: breath, you have time enough to get things done

Second advice: you are neither useless nor unskilled. There is a lot of bullshit and getting lucky involved with job finding.

Third Advice: idk much about things, but if i was in your situation i would lean towards the London Option

Higher population = larger job market even if its a terrible retail job to hold you over

Take December/January to squirrel away savings as much as you can and start looking at jobs in late January/early february

I've kind of hit peak panic and therefore apathy

I'm very aware that no one will take me on with my current portfolio atm?

And I just want to work on that but I don't have the energy or really any skill to do that, like I feel like I haven't improved since I got to uni

And it's been four years since then

Move with the housemates.

There will be more opportunity and different opertunities.

My only issue with that is that I will have to be paying london rent, and I can't in good conscience move when I will just be a drain on their finances

Like syl and james are set to be on 30k p/a and i'll be over here on like... 15

You won't know that until after you move, tho.

You could actually find a job that pays.