last night I told my mom that if I get married I want to have a mariachi band at the dinner

because her side of the family and the ones o dad's side that I LIKE will think it's hilarious

and the ones I don't like will never be more annoyed or irritated by anything in their lives

I can just picture mom's cousin julia (who once scanned into the room at my great aunt Jane's house, dramatically draped herself across a sofa, and mournfully exclaimed "MOOOM, I WANT A QUAALUDE")

(to which auntie Jane did not even look up from her hand of cards, just replied "I'm sorry, dear, would you like a bottle of gin?" and I knew I had found my true family.)

anyway I can just picture julia's face. sheer bliss.