I want to yell and whine and ask for help and bitch and have someone take care of me. Have someone coddle me and pet me, feed me rich food and tell me it'll be alright. But I'm afraid one cares enough. That no one wants to hear it. I don't want to bother anyone. Everyone has more important things to worry about. I'll just melt away instead.

I'm tired of doing all the work, telling others that it'll be alright. Of doing the cooking, making the money, paying the bills, making the budget, watching others who can't watch themselves.

I want someone to hold me and kiss my head. To stroke my hair and let me cry without judging. To listen to my problems without adding to them. Without turning them into knives to cut back at me. With an understanding that I'm so tired I can't make my voice or tone one me anymore.

I don't mean to yell, I don't mean to snap I don't mean to be cruel or an asshole. I'm just so. Fucking. Tired. I need a break longer than a weekend. I need AWAY. I need to feel like I'm taken care of without feeling like a burden.

And I can't make myself come off anon to ask. Because, even though I know those who would help, I don't dare ask. They have more important worries. And I can make it. I can. I'm just a little cracked....I think...

At least, that's what I tell myself.

I feel the same way, anon. for different reasons, maybe, but I do.

I don't have an easy answer.

if I did, my life would be easier.

but sometimes I just want to run away and disappear. melt away, as you said.

I don't, because giving up seems like failure.

earlier I scream/cried into a towel because I'm too tired to exist, I feel. and yet I do.

I'm sorry.

let me hold you over the internet.

it's the best I can do.