๐”–๐”ซ๐”ฆ๐”ฅ๐”ฒ๐”ฏรณ๐”ซ๐”จ๐”ž
[Our President Just Said That]
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Our President just saud he should have let 3 Americans rot in a prison for a minor infraction because the dad didn't kiss his ass
ฯƒฯั”ัฮฑ gะฝฯƒั•ั‚
ฯƒฯั”ัฮฑ gะฝฯƒั•ั‚
the rest of the world is laughing at us
Maisfeeka
Our favorite president? He was saying bad things about Kennedy? Damn him!
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I'm like "...I should google and see who the guy was talking about, favorite president?'
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""If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast," Flake told his friend, Mesa Mayor John Giles, according to a recording picked up by a KNXV microphone."
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Trump, your skin is so thin you get cuts from opening a door.
ฯƒฯั”ัฮฑ gะฝฯƒั•ั‚
I can tell you right now that he's not my favorite president
ฯƒฯั”ัฮฑ gะฝฯƒั•ั‚
I'd prefer Bush over him, and that's saying a lot.
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dude, I legit had a bush nostalgia moment the other day, and idek why.
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me: Remember when you could make a calendar about how dumb your president spoke and he wouldn't throw a fit about it?
Alicia
that's the worst part: making Bush seem less terrible than he really was
Alicia
'member when Presidents didn't bitch about everything on social media? I 'member
Alicia
also, SNL on point this week:
Come Back, Barack - SNL
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yt, why is the video unseeable
Alicia
ugh it did that to me on other SNL vids
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not like, i can't get it. But like...it's just audio?
Alicia
it must be their settings
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yeah, bc it's not any other video
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that works for some reason
Exacerangutan
I've been having intermittent youtube problems since the firefox update >_>
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I am using chrome, though
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I expect snl's channel issue might be an adblocker issue
Exacerangutan
oh, I got nothing them :X
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bc I don't have adblock on edge browser
Alicia
yeah it works on Emo IE
Alicia
anyways, I miss 90s R&B
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I wish he WOULD come back.
Exacerangutan
what's that Trump is a shitstain and an embarrassment who thinks the only value in a US citizen is how much they can praise him?
Exacerangutan
I can try to look shocked, but no promises
Exacerangutan
now that I scrolled up and read the actual things
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are you shocked people are responding positively to the tweets?
Alicia
nah, most of his followers are bots
Exacerangutan
...no, that's more of an "of course they are, good, wonderful, keep dragging us down" reaction.
Alicia
something like 2/3rds... Twitter's infested with them, and they keep denying that fact
Alicia
because if they got rid of the bots, that'd be a majority of their user base
Alicia
people have noted that whenever Trump tweets, there's about 4-5k responses in the first minute or so, so they can't be humans
Alicia
and they're all usernames like "JOEAMERICABEST" or "Fred98754"
Exacerangutan
haha
Exacerangutan
yeah...
Exacerangutan
no, my capacity for being shocked has been pretty much exhausted
Exacerangutan
I mean if he ate a baby live on camera I would be more surprised that none of his staff thought to turn the camera off.
Alicia
and Fox News would be like "The American people have been asking for their leaders to eat babies for years. Trump is the first one to listen to the electorate!"
Alicia
and "Trump might have eaten a baby, but you know who eats babies every single day? Hillary Clinton!"
Alicia
lol she even joked that she was stepping down from "the Fox News presidency" because they talk about her like she's the real prez every day on there
Alicia
oh god, it gets worse (because of course it does):
Alicia
"That same day, White House Director of Social Media Dan Scavino fired back at the elder Mr Ball from his personal Twitter account. "Wannabe Lakers coach, BIG MOUTH Lavarbigballer knows if it werenโ€™t for President realDonaldTrump, his son would be in China for a long, long, long time!" Mr Scavino wrote."
Alicia
the Director of Social Media
Alicia
the White House is being run by middle schoolers
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/goes to see what this dad even said
Alicia
no, sorry, that's an insult to middle schoolers
Alicia
bwahaha best Reddit comment: "It's a White Trash White House"
Exacerangutan
I mean, some of the people I knew in middle school would have been that snippy and shitty about it
Exacerangutan
rofl nice
Exacerangutan
the White Trash House
Alicia
money can't buy class, that's for damn sure
Exacerangutan
I generally don't like the phrase, but I don't mind repurposing it to mean trashy people no matter their economic class
Exacerangutan
I just want someone to (at least satirically) end an on-site reporting segment
Alicia
oh geez, the "Director of Social Media" was previously one of Trump's *golf caddies"
Exacerangutan
"...reporting from the White Trash- I mean, Trash Fire- WHITE HOUSE. .......back to you."
Alicia
ffs
Alicia
Trumpster Fire
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@ MikeDelMoro I read the President's tweets to LaVar Ball just now over the phone & he questioned why the President wasn't focused on more important things."
Exacerangutan
well you see he didn't get the popular vote which means he doesn't have to actually do the job, just sit in the office
Exacerangutan
that's how it works, right?
Exacerangutan
if you win only by electoral college, it's all a formality?
Exacerangutan
....rofl and, no, hold on, so... it was already happening, and Trump swooped in to pretend he was doing something important?
Exacerangutan
I mean I find this super credible because he's done that A LOT in the last 9 months
Alicia
man, so many problems would have been avoided if Fred Trump ever hugged his son
Alicia
we would not be here today
Alicia
talking about this shit
Exacerangutan
every national holiday and day of awareness is announced by the WH as if Trump just thought it up
Alicia
"No one knew" = "I didn't know" in Trumpian
Exacerangutan
most of which he probably doesn't even know are happening
Exacerangutan
well if he didn't know, no one could know
Exacerangutan
obvs
Exacerangutan
because he knows all the best facts
Alicia
"No one knew health care was so complicated."
Seth Meyers: "EVERYONE KNEW! EVERYONE EXCEPT YOU!"
Exacerangutan
(also "best" means the ones he likes the most)
Exacerangutan
(whether they correlate to physical reality, ehh, not so important)
Alicia
the bigliest, most tremendous facts
Exacerangutan
ooh that's like three syllables in that word, v. good
Exacerangutan
//gives a gold star//
Exacerangutan
๐”–๐”ซ๐”ฆ๐”ฅ๐”ฒ๐”ฏรณ๐”ซ๐”จ๐”ž
meanwhile, that new tax thing? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOyQseQX0AIDfiO.jpg https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOyQtrGXUAEoeYQ.jpg includes a tax break for owning a private plane.
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but it doesn't favor rich people come on
Alicia
and cuts Medicare for 25 million people
Alicia
and affects me directly because it counts tuition waivers as taxable income fml
Alicia
I'm in grad school and get a tuition waiver because I work at a college
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.....how is a tuition waiver /money/, trump
Alicia
so instead of getting taxed on my regular salary, I'll get taxed as if I was making an extra $5300 (which is what the waiver is worth)
Exacerangutan
oh no absolutely, it's going to basically destroy graduate education at top universities
Alicia
yeah it'll decimate PhD programs
Exacerangutan
like a grad student at Princeton would go from taxes on their $30k or whatever salary to taxes on their $130k tuition+fees+salary
Alicia
and my mom is a teacher and it takes away her $500 deduction for buying supplies
Exacerangutan
which ends up being approximately their entire salary
Alicia
which is already a fucking sham because teachers spend way more than that on stuff for their students
Exacerangutan
so you can only get a degree in the US if you are independently wealthy, because the lack of a landed aristocracy that also completely controls academia is the real problem in the US today
Exacerangutan
Alicia
and they snuck in repealing the individual mandate for the ACA because if at first you don't succeed,
Alicia
try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again
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God forbid they do something to benefit people
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no, better to make life hell til 2020
Alicia
it's ok, though. we can have all the guns we want!
Alicia
that'll solve everything
Exacerangutan
...I don't think they actually care about the policy itself as much as the symbolism of the policy. :X
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One hope I guess is that this season's AHS is as psychic as it has been so far, and 2019 starts with Trump in prison.
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And end with him emasculated in full view of the entire world by 3 women who go on to rule us all.
Alicia
yeah the writers need to do something. this president storyline has gone on too long and just isn't believable anymore
Exacerangutan
anymore?
Exacerangutan
it's been an edgelord-y, clickbait-y storyline from the start :X
Alicia
yeah I don't know who they think they're fooling
Exacerangutan
"ooh you'll never believe what happens next!!!" that probably means it's badly written
Alicia
like, we've had way too much build up with the Mueller character... when is he going to face off against Trump in battle and kick his ass?
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....trump, stop trying to make me have to decide between worse evils.
Exacerangutan
Alicia
but he wants churches to be able to endorse candidates without losing their tax exempt status sooooo
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he's so not going to do that
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esp since they're pro trump
Alicia
once again, Donny Two Scoops is talking out of both sides of his mouth. what a shocker.
Exacerangutan
...I mean I can think of enough reasons they might decide to go after someone who happens also to be awful, but I'm not sure I'm taking that any more seriously than any of his other claims and promises.
Alicia
well he also thinks just because he declares something, that makes it so
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....twitterers. "It's probably looking real good now that Pence won't spend time alone in a room with anyone but his wife, right dems?"
Alicia
yeah, it's weird but true
Alicia
he won't spend time alone with any woman who's not his wife
Alicia
men are ok though
Alicia
also Pence believes in electroshock conversion therapy, so no he does not look good to me
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he sounds just....insane
Exacerangutan
oh haha and then I got to the end of the article
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I...did not, what did it say
Exacerangutan
apparently the upshot of all that was that not only can nothing really happen, they've apparently forgotten about it entirely, and now are chumming it up with high-ranking Scientologists
Alicia
Trump: "Just met with wonderful Scientologists! They love me so much! Failing Xenu must go! Killed millions of thetans in volcanos, SAD"
Alicia
hmm, not enough spelling mistakes. I need to try harder
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I wish xenu would come back and eatthem all
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or whatever he's supposed to do
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"With the assistance of psychiatrists, he gathered billions of his citizens under the pretense of income tax inspections, then paralyzed them and froze them in a mixture of alcohol and glycol to capture their souls.
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When they had reached Teegeeack, the paralyzed citizens were unloaded around the bases of volcanoes across the planet.[5][8] Hydrogen bombs were then lowered into the volcanoes and detonated simultaneously.
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The now-disembodied victims' souls, which Hubbard called thetans, were blown into the air by the blast. They were captured by Xenu's forces using an "electronic ribbon".
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and sucked into "vacuum zones" around the world. The hundreds of billions of captured thetans were taken to a type of cinema, where they were forced to watch a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for thirty-six days.
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When the thetans left the projection areas, they started to cluster together in groups of a few thousand, having lost the ability to differentiate between each other. Each cluster of thetans gathered into one of the few remaining bodies that survived the explosion." ....so it's like psychic lint?
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and scientologists don't want it?
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"the unsuspecting thetan was subjected to a loud snapping noise followed by a flood of luminescence, then saw a chariot followed by a trumpeting cherub. After a loud set of snaps, the thetan was overwhelmed by darkness." ....so dubstep?
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"Hubbard compares Heaven to "Busch Gardens in Pasadena""
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I don't know what this is, but I bet it happens to Trump all the time: "The Obscene Dog was a sort of a brass dog in a sitting position and anybody who got around to the front of the dog got caught in some electronic current and passed through the dog to the dog's rear end and spat out. Thetans didn't like this."
Exacerangutan
่ผ‰ๅ…ฅๆ–ฐ็š„ๅ›ž่ฆ†