... You know what, I am going to make this reaaaaaal short. Because yeah. I am insecure about everything I do in RP - how my characters are portrayed, how my characters affect other characters, how I want my character's story to go but then the game's narrative doesn't allow for that so then I get all frustrated. Anxiety disorder does not make for an RPer
who is calm and happy and sunshiney all the time. Most of the time I keep it under wraps? But when I'm stressed I feel like I'm in a Robert Ludlham novel and everyone and everything is out to get me. Nothing I do is right. Everyone hates me. I am all alone in a vast sea of insecurity.
My challenges as an RPer are mostly - fitting my ideas in with someone else's narrative. Give me room to free-form and I am golden. Restrict me to a smaller area and I struggle but I put it through because it's RP, right? You gotta let this stuff go to make for a better, larger story.
Canonwise I am always worried about my 'voice'. Am I giving this canon character their due? Should I be playing/watching/reading the source material for the fifteenth time to make sure that I have the voice right?
My strengths - I can go with the flow. Someone asks me to change something - I can and will do it. I'm not in this to fight, I am in it to enjoy myself, and that makes me a laid-back person. I don't like being put in a corner, but I can find a way to write my way out if need be.
I also have pretty good ideas - I don't always look to implement them because of all my anxieties, but I can toss down a good plot. I just prefer to be asked to do so then doing it on my own.
worstbest