Byrb
https://i.imgur.com/ol1b002.png SHIP + QUESTION = ANSWER
quarter trauma
Gay Russians evens, Snowe x Xiri odds
Byrb
omg
Byrb
GAY RUSSIANS who:
Byrb
2. Gets jealous the most
Absolutely Artyom. Pavel is canonically a casanova who probably knows the girls in half the brothels of the metro by name- they certainly know HIM by name at least.
Byrb
and pavel is such a natural flirt... and artyom is a wee baby and his first time being in a real relationship and really in love
Byrb
he'll probably get pretty bootyburned and jealous if pavel went pervy and/or flirty at some girls
Byrb
4. Takes care of on sick days.
thats a tough call, but im gonna lean towards Pavel, if only because in my and alanas headcanons at least, Pavel is the one that can cook and make a hearty soup for a sick Tyoma
Byrb
plus hes perfect for a sick and miserable Artyom to cuddle against and groan against his shoulder
Byrb
(but artyom will certainly do his best to care for Pavel if Pavel is the sick one...)
Byrb
6. gives unprompted massages
Pavel again. hes the more touchy of the two, and especially he likes to touch and run his hands over Artyom. in fact, hes already given impromptu massages to artyom in the rps lol
Byrb
8. Brings the other lunch at work
I'm gonna say both. Pavel would actually make the lunch and bring it to his Tyoma
Byrb
while going on about how Artyom needs to eat more, his ribs stick out too much, have a break and eat, yadda yadda
Byrb
Artyom wouldnt be able to make anything terribly good, but he could make sandwiches or something simple, and would happily bring it to Pavel, and be very unobtrusive about it.
Byrb
just quietly sidle up and smile and hand over lunch, maybe a kiss on the cheek or an affectionate bump of the hands, before he slips away again
Byrb
10. Tries to start roleplaying in bed
well i mean first of all its kinda hard for Artyom to start anything like that spontaneously, and he's shy besides... so definitely Pavel.
Byrb
and relatedly... [looks sideways at rp Alana and i have going of pavel getting artyom to dress up in the EPM hooker outfit....]
Byrb
12. Still cries watching Titanic
thats tough, mostly because artyom is pretty good at not crying even when hes really upset, so im gonna say pavel...
Byrb
14. breaks the expensive gift rule during christmas
Pavel! he seems to be the type who would go hard to impress, that damn casanova. and itd probably be something riqsue, too
Byrb
PAVEL UR A TERRIBLE COMMUNIST
Byrb
16. remembers anniversaries
Absolutely Artyom. And if he doesnt remember off the top of his head, you know hell go through his diaries to find the important dates
Byrb
SAD PRINCE AND YANDERE DEMEON who:
Byrb
1. Gives nose/forehead kisses
Xiri! Snowe prefers to kiss Xiri's cheeks or a peck on the lips, while Xiri likes to give Snowe protective and comforting smooches to his nose and forehead and hair...
Byrb
Also: eskimo kisses. theyre disgustingly adorable.
Byrb
3. Picks the other up from the bar when theyre too drunk to drive
Youd think Snowe would be the responsible one and normally he would be but that boy does not understand the concept of alcohol and limits
Byrb
he canonically got himself plastered on whiskey bc he saw a full grown adult with a higher alcohol tolerance knocking them back and snowe was like "if he can do that and be fine then i totally can, right?"
Byrb
(he was wrong and then he drunkenly kissed a boy and passed out)
Byrb
5. Drags the other person out into the water on beach days
I wanna say Xiri, mostly because I don't think Snowe can swim?? like, at all. also that pale child would probably be huddling under an umbrella
Byrb
(but hell have fun once hes in the water)
Byrb
7. Drives/Rides shotgun
I dont trust either of them to drive
Byrb
but especially not Xiri so i guess by default snowe has to drive and xiri has to sulk shotgun
Byrb
9. Has the better Parental relationship
Byrb
[GESTURES WILDLY AT XIRI]
Byrb
sure Zilia originally made him to be a weapon but tbh if i take what one of the people who helped write the sequels word as canon, then she actually didnt expect him to even gain a body or sapience,
Byrb
let alone live long
Byrb
and she openly states that she regrets the plans shed had for xiri and is glad that those plans were derailed because it meant he got to live
Byrb
and then shes terribly sweet and affectionate and kind and motherly and xiri loves her the most
Byrb
he probably loves her more than he loves snowe
Byrb
its why when xiri can finally go home, he only leaves it to visit snowe, but never for too long, he always goes back home to Zilia, he wont leave Zilia and home even for Snowe
Byrb
meanwhile, Snowe...
Byrb
[looks sideways at Edgar and Lina]
Byrb
yeah, no
Byrb
his biodad gets better and picks up paternal urges and starts to care about and want to guide snowe, but he started off as an omnicidal maniac before he calmed down after a year of stewing
Byrb
so yeah xiri 100% wins here
Byrb
11. Embarrassingly drunk dancer
PROBABLY BOTH OF THEM... Snowe, because hes sorta got two left feet and he cant handle alcohol, xiri because hes a goofy weirdo
Byrb
13. Firmly believes in couples costumes
XIRI... although Snowe would absolutely be charmed at the idea on his own, too, but Xiri would be way more enthusiastic
Byrb
15. makes the other eat breakfast
Xiri... snowe doesnt eat enough, he has appetite issues, mostly related to all his stress and anxiety
Byrb
17.Brings up having kids
THATS TOUGH... i wanna say i think snowe would be more naturally inclined to at least mention the concept in conversation because hes a human and reproduces normally while demons dont
Byrb
but i can also see Xiri bringing it up out of curiosity/observation of humans...
Byrb
regardless i can see them both getting the idea at roughly around the same time if theyve had a steady longterm relationship for a while...
Byrb
alana and i maaaay have once talked at length about snowe and xiri doing the impossible with zilias help to give themselves a child together....
Byrb
electrorobo: THERE THATS ALL OF EM
ELODIE LIVES
Byrb
ELODIE LIVES : DO U HAVE ANY THOUGHTS YOUD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE....
ELODIE LIVES
NOTHING EXCEPT THESE ARE CUTE??
ELODIE LIVES
ALSO DO EVERY THIRD ONE WITH SNOLGINS
Byrb
omfg!
Byrb
SNOLGINS who:
Byrb
3. Picks the other up from the bar when theyre too drunk to drive WELL.... THIS ONES OBVIOUS......... whenever snake has a relapse.........
Byrb
6. Gives unprompted massages
Volgin because first of all snakes not even very touchy by default i mean he has to have tells that he wants to hold hands and cant just do it on his own,
Byrb
and volgin loves to put those big ol mitts of his all over snake, not to mention he likes spoiling him so...
Byrb
9. Has the better parental relationship
?????? I HAVE NO IDEA....... isnt it implied volgin murdered his dad? but volgin is also Evil, and snake has his big boss dramas...
Byrb
12. Still cries watching Titanic
neither tbh but i bet you snake would have like at least 2 hours worth of commentary hed like to give on the movie
Byrb
15. Makes the other eat breakfast
snake always eats a healthy breakfast and volgin doesnt seem like one to skip meals
Byrb
but volgin would be the one to get snake to sit down and indulge and have more than just what he needs
Byrb
like yes snake had his orange juice and oatmeal and whatever else is part of this complete breakfast but david have you considered: a stack of blueberry pancakes that volgin made just for you with LOVE?
Byrb
ELODIE LIVES : THERE U GO
ELODIE LIVES
omg
ELODIE LIVES
blueberry is a terrible berry but he'll cook with them because he knows snek loves em
Byrb
i personally despise blueberries but snake adores blueberries and salmonberries
ELODIE LIVES
snake is cute....
ELODIE LIVES
also i want to ask about bt/cooper but i feel like most of these are either obvious or irrelevant to the ship :V
ELODIE LIVES
damn robots
Byrb
DAMN ROBOTS...
Byrb
BT would absolutely remember anniversaries bc robit but also bc he care. he remembered exactly how many days he was linked to his last boyfriendimean pilot
Byrb
and also i read a fic where because of REASONS THAT ARE SPOILERS cooper had to pilot a different titan and BT did not like that
Byrb
so he is the jealous one
Byrb
cooper is his pilot, and cooper is HIS pilot
Byrb
those r the only 2 questions i can think of that apply without getting too obviouas
ELODIE LIVES
omg i didnt expect you to start answering i was typing up alternatives (1-5 for snake/fox, 6-10 for snots, 11-17 for davesprite and john)
Byrb
TOO BAD
Byrb
I SHIP THIS ROBIT WITH THIS PILOT
Byrb
AND I LOVE THEM
Byrb
AND WE NEED TO DO MORE TITANFALL LATER
ELODIE LIVES
YES
ELODIE LIVES
after work i would be happy to watch more titanfall :-D
Byrb
SNAKE/FOX who:
Byrb
1. gives forehead/nose kisses
ahahaha..................
Byrb
that. probably doesnt happen.
Byrb
david would be more likely but it still probably doesnt happen.........
Byrb
only rough makeouts here
Byrb
2. gets jealous the most
i imagine it would be fox, in any version of canon/au.... but a young snake might be quietly internally pretty jelly if fox started being close-like to others
Byrb
3. picks the other up from the bar when theyre too drunk to drive
even before the alcoholism really set in i imagine snake didnt make good alcohol decisions..............
Byrb
and it definitely hit the fan after outer heaven
Byrb
but foxs version of helping snake with alcohol would probably be a bit more like smacking him around
ELODIE LIVES
oh no thats awful (8
Byrb
4. takes care of on sick days
THEY TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN DAMN SELVES.... altho i think snake would be more likely to check in on fox
ELODIE LIVES
(i love this awful ship)
Byrb
5. drags the person out onto the water on beach day
ALANA WHY DID YOU PICK THESE QUESTIONS THESE ARE HARD TO APPLY
Byrb
all i know is im now picturing them in swimsuits and wrestling in the surf
ELODIE LIVES
I DUNNO I CAN SEE FOX JUST THROWING SNAKE INTO THE WATER LIKE "now learn 2 swim"
ELODIE LIVES
... but thats also good tbh
ELODIE LIVES
also can u imagine the next five for s...nox?
ELODIE LIVES
snox???
ELODIE LIVES
that the ship name? thats hilariously terrible
Byrb
snox omg
ELODIE LIVES
i fucking love snake ship names
Byrb
do u want me to do 6-10 for snake/fox also?
Byrb
and then also for snots?
ELODIE LIVES
no they would be awful for snox
ELODIE LIVES
"brings the other lunch" never,
ELODIE LIVES
just go ahead and snot it up
Byrb
unless by "lunch" you mean "i had an extra protein bar"
Byrb
SNOTS who:
Byrb
6. gives unprompted massages
snake absolutely, he probably gets back pain just looking at otacons posture
Byrb
probably also tries to start training otacon to have better posture. it doesnt work, but he tries.
Byrb
otacon working late nights on his computer and snake sliding up behind him to set a fresh mug of coffee beside him and start rubbing his shoulders and upper back
Byrb
massage his poor hacker hands too after too much typing
ELODIE LIVES
snake is a good doting husband 10/10
Byrb
7. drives/rides shotgun
they switch on long drives but i can see it being more comfortable when snake is driving and otacon has shotgun.
Byrb
otacon can use a laptop when hes riding shotgun, and snake has a mild activity to focus on, maybe with some side conversation or a smoke here or there
Byrb
8. brings the other lunch at work
SNAKE. see above about bringing hal a coffee... hed probably also have to frequently remind otacon to eat- and eat REAL food not that dehydrated noodle shit
Byrb
snake will shove an apple down hals throat so help him
Byrb
so since otacon cannot be trusted to feed himself when hes busy on computers, snake will make him some food and bring it to him at the computer...
ELODIE LIVES
I BET THATS NOT THE ONLY THING HE'LL PUT IN HALS MOUTH ;D ;D ;D ;D i mean. also. good doting husband.
Byrb
AYOOOOOOOOOOO
Byrb
9. has the better parental relationship
UH................................................................
ELODIE LIVES
YEAH. Y E A H
ELODIE LIVES
fuck all their parents tbh
ELODIE LIVES
except eva
ELODIE LIVES
eva is fine
Byrb
i mean, id fuck eva tbh
ELODIE LIVES
.... yeah i was about to make that joke
ELODIE LIVES
eva is FIIIIIINE ifyouknowwhatimean
Byrb
10. tries to start roleplaying in bed
it seems a little unlikely for hal but lbr snake probably wouldnt even think of it to begin with so that puts otacon in first.
ELODIE LIVES
dude hal would absolutely rp in bed
ELODIE LIVES
he can be the robot and snake can be shinji
Byrb
ok but im talking about STARTING
ELODIE LIVES
get in the robot, shinji~
Byrb
hal is a socially awkward nerd
ELODIE LIVES
in my experience that means more rp, not less
Byrb
im sure hed have several speedbumps at suggesting it
not a bumblebee
hal brings a copy of big eyes small mouth to bed
ELODIE LIVES
it is easier to be seductive when u are not you, but actually Admiral ZEX
Byrb
and with like 5 disclaimers about how this is stupid but he was curious and snake can just ignore him if it sounds too weird and they can pretend he never said anything but........ etc etc
ELODIE LIVES
... not that im speaking from experience or anything :V
Byrb
and then snake is surprisingly like alright yeah ok do u have any ideas and THEN hal can be like ok well i jotted down some ideas [gets out filled notepad]
Byrb
snake like 'oh god'
ELODIE LIVES
omg hal u nerdbeast
Byrb
snake would be kinda not super into it but definitely not opposed............. unless they touch petplay. and then Oh No snake discovers his megakink
ELODIE LIVES
(rubs petplay all over snake)
Byrb
pls put a leash and collar on him and call him a good boy?
ELODIE LIVES
otacon all like WHO'S A GOOD BOY IS IT YOU?
Byrb
ITS HIM!!!
ELODIE LIVES
yeah its you snake!!
ELODIE LIVES
WHOOOOO WANTS BELLY RUBS?
Byrb
(snake wants belly rubs!!)
ELODIE LIVES
HERES SOME BELLY RUBS!! GOOD BOY! YEAH!
Byrb
congratulations, hal! rping in bed was a gr8 success! but good luck getting snake to want to do something else in bed now.
ELODIE LIVES
ehehe
Byrb
and now
Byrb
JOHNSPOOTS who:
Byrb
11. Embarrassingly drunk dancer
BOTH???
Byrb
BOTH.
ELODIE LIVES
omg...
ELODIE LIVES
im imagining sprite dancing and its cute
Byrb
BUT JUST IN DIFFERENT WAYS
Byrb
john would be the dumbass tripping all over himself and gigglesnorting
Byrb
davesprite would just be kinda wiggly and probably not realize hes doing it and also doing it at john
ELODIE LIVES
does his booty shimmy...
Byrb
absolutely
ELODIE LIVES
c u t e
Byrb
12. still cries watching the titanic
JOHN OF COURSE?! HOW IS THIS A QUESTION
Byrb
john clinging to davesprite 'SHE SAID SHED NEVER LET GOOOO...'
ELODIE LIVES
i bet davesprites like "ok but there was def room for both of them on that driftwood and this is stupid" but also like (screaming inside because johnclings)
Byrb
and then john gets on dave bc like NO dave they proved that itd actually sink if he got on there! and davesprite says bullshit and next thing you know theyre watching mythbusters
ELODIE LIVES
later on taking john up to the prow of the ship to do the thing
ELODIE LIVES
the thing
Byrb
omfg
ELODIE LIVES
davesprite can be rose
Byrb
13. firmly believes in couples costumes
john absolutely!! and his first idea is ghostbuster and ghost. john is the buster. davesprite is the spookum.
ELODIE LIVES
davesprite tells him thats racists against sprites
ELODIE LIVES
and anyway johns the one with the fake slimer shirt
Byrb
BUT DAVE YOU ALREADY HAVE A GHOST TAIL AND YOU LEAVE ECTOPLASM PLACES YOURE BASICALLY ALREADY IN COSTUME
Byrb
ALSO JOHN WANTS TO BE THE GHOSTBUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!
Byrb
cue john having a mini tantrum
ELODIE LIVES
omfg john chill
Byrb
14. breaks the expensive gift rule during christmas
i wanna say davesprite mostly because he wouldnt pay attention to that and would just go immediately for 'what would be the Best Thing to give to john'
ELODIE LIVES
dave and john already give each other like
ELODIE LIVES
movie memorabelia
ELODIE LIVES
they've already broken the expensive gift rule tbh
Byrb
exactly
Byrb
but dave in general seems less likely to even attempt to be fiscal
Byrb
15. makes the other eat breakfast
john, because hes used to the 3 square meals a day and plenty of snacks and davesprite over here is still reeling from the discovery that refrigerators are meant to hold food
Byrb
he is also in the process of learning that doritos dont count as a meal
Byrb
16. remembers anniversaries
DAVESPRITE PROBABLY.... i mean john remembers alright too, but dave would like have that shit practically inscribed on the inside of his skull
Byrb
BUT he would pretend like he totally doesnt
Byrb
play it all casual
Byrb
it doesnt fool anyone... except john lbr
ELODIE LIVES
ahaha
Byrb
17. brings up having kids
under normal circumstances id say that davesprite would deliberately avoid the subject and john would bring it up,
Byrb
but in reality davesprite accidentally and unwittingly brings it up via the act of laying an egg
Byrb
and then the subject is just literally physically lying there
Byrb
also the question: can we eat this or would it be gross
ELODIE LIVES
yes, and also yes
載入新的回覆