[rl/dead dad stuff] Sooo I've finally been listening to the Lazarus cast recording and while my dad wasn't a huge Bowie fan like me he got me into classic rock and loved musicals so hi fresh grief stuff.

Which along with the headache has...meant tagbrain is not around at a really inconvinent time

but blargh grief is messy and non linear and illogical and I know this really well but jesus I didn't expect this to bowl me over like it did.

one of the hardest things about grief is that it can hit years later and just kind of knock you down, when you think you're doing so well adapting and everything

grief sucks

y e a h. like in the big scheme for me it hasn't been longit was only 3 years last monthbut it's the small weird things that hit (mostly music tbh)

like the first concert I went to after he died (only a few months after), I came back numb because it was good but he and I had always gone to shows together and I realized we weren't going to do that again.

oh yeah, ouch. that would have been very tough

Being reminded is hard I am so so so sorry

<3 thanks. I've come to expect things like songs I was okay listening ot yesterday hitting me hard today etc since he got me into SO MUCH music but--yeah

nod nod

Believe me I know this feel with my grandma