"ENROLL IN ONLINE EASY PAY!" says this email. "Just print out and mail us this form..." :|

I think... you guys are maybe missing a vital point here

Because I can already PAY online. I do. Whenever I get a bill. By email. Which is online. But apparently to skip the bill part, I have to do not online stuff.

or call. I can call, too, which AHAHA even more not happening

:|a