OK so the short version of this is that Energon is Hot Fucking Shit Garbage, but you're probably looking for the long version, which I will commence with after I finish my usual post-work internet catch-up.
I suggest you fix popcorn or something while you wait because the long version will be LONG, because in order to truly explain all the myriad ways Energon disappointed me, I will have to explain all the things
dragon time
: Post-work internet catchup turned into post-work nap but I am awake again now so LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT TRANSFORMERS ARMADA. It--ok it was kind of aggressively mediocre at best, but it aired when
I was, like, 12 and had an underdeveloped sense of quality and an overdeveloped ability to mentally gloss over plot holes, as one does at that age. So, in short, I loved it and I loved its characters, despite
Most of them getting a treatment like "Here's a few episodes to introduce this cool new toy character and show you how cool he is (because Armada had no girl robots in it, naturally) so you will want to buy
...minus a "treatment" there this is what I get for ranting this out on mobile because I'm too lazy to get out of bed, I forget where my sentences are going.
ANYWAY, my three most favorite characters in the show actually mostly avoided falling victim to this problem but it's probably more accurate to say they're my favorites because they weren't getting sidelined
For new toys. Though to be entirely fair the Autobots got this problem way worse than the Decepticons did if only because, as the villains in a show aimed at 6-year-old boys, they were never really written as
Cool in the first place, and two of my three faves are Decepticons. ...one and a half, really? One and three-quarters? Because one of them is Starscream, who is actually Dinobot Lite instead of a "proper"
The other two faves are Hot Shot and Demolishor. Hot Shot you may know as the character that David Willis is obsessed with, or possibly the star of the infamous JAaM! comic, I'm not sure how far that one
Traveled outside the fandom, tbh. He is, of course, the yellow kid appeal bot, a la Cheetor or Bumblebee, full of youthful bravado and recklessness and hidden leadership potential. Also a huge dork with an
Adorable grin, ok also he threw one of the obnoxious human children off a cliff once which is an action that makes sense in context but is still hilarious anyway.
Demolishor is. My type okay, in the armormans sense instead of the sad dad one. He's not. Exactly what I'd call knightly, (speaking of hilarious shit happening to the obnoxious human kids, Demolishor once
Claimed to have eaten them, "and they were quite tasty, too!" Armada wasn't always great, but it had its moments), but he's about as close as you could reasonably expect a Decepticon to be? He's very loyal and
Has kind of a set expectation of how things should go and gets worked up when they don't go that way and basically he and Starscream are the only Decepticons who aren't some combination of crazy and asshole.
Naturally the two of them actually do not get along well at all because they're in direct competition for Megatron's approval/favor and it might've been a bit much to say that they're not asshole because they
Are 100% assholes to each other over this. Demolishor is the one who usually actually has Megatron's favor though because Starscream's life is suffering.
OK now that I've outlined characters let's get into the actual plot points? Let's. Start with Hot Shot, I guess. The first thing that ties into Energon disappointing me is Wheeljack, so let's start with that.
So basically right at the halfway point of Armada is a two-parter episode called "Past" because Armada was all about these one-word titles. Even at the time, I recognized these were of considerably higher
Quality than the rest of the show, and although I haven't gone back and watched them since, they might still hold up as unironically good? They're pretty feelsy, at least. ...and to properly explain this I'm
Going to have to back up a bit, okay. SO THERE'S THIS CHARACTER NAMED BLURR. One of the victims of the "cool new toy" issue I mentioned earlier. His intro was basically him being like "I'm cool but also a
Fucking asshole" and Hot Shot going "hey. Stop being an asshole, we're the good guys here" and them fighting about it until Blurr learns to be a bit less of an asshole and they become friends.
So Past, Past starts with this new guy, Side Swipe showing up out of nowhere and the Autobots all being like "...Who the fuck is this nerd and how did he get here???" And Side Swipe talks about how Blurr had,
Like, saved him from this stupid situation he'd gotten himself into so now he was like, wholeheartedly devoted to following him and there's this whole extra awkward thing about brotherhood where it is blatantly
Obvious that in Japanese, he's calling Blurr and, later, Hot Shot "aniki" and the whole thing has just been translated kind of awkwardly. Anyway, Blurr is Not Dealing With This Shit because he is still an
Asshole, so Optimus is like "your responsibility now, Hot Shot." And Hot Shot "wait what? No, no no, nonononono, bad idea, I am not ok with this like have you met me, don't give me responsibility, don't make me
Responsible for making sure this idiot kid doesn't get himself killed please no please" but it is to no avail, he is now officially this kid's mentor and the first episode of the two parter is mostly about
Them bonding and shit, until the end of it, where they're driving around in vehicle mode, and this other car comes up and it's got an Autobot symbol with a huge slash through it on the hood and... Let's see if
I remember exactly how this goes, it's been fifteen years, after all... IIRC, this encounter he just runs Side Swipe off the road, then he transforms and Hot Shot's like "Wheeljack? ;A; " and there may be talk
Of revenge at this point, I don't remember, but either way Wheeljack shoots Hot Shot and that's where the episode ends and where tiny AF becomes very distressed.
So the second part starts with a flashback and it turns out that this is not the first time Hot Shot has been assigned to be some kid's mentor, as back on Cybertron, he was put in charge of Wheeljack, but
During a battle, a huge fire broke out and Wheeljack was trapped under some rubble and Hot Shot couldn't get him out on his own, so he was like, "I'm going to go get some help" and Wheeljack was like, "no
Please don't leave me alone I'm scared ;A; " and Hot Shot was like "I'll come back for you, I promise" and left, and he found the rest of their unit, but their commander was like "No way we're not going in
There it's way too dangerous" and Hot Shot was having none of that and even though his commander was like "your ass is so court martialed if you go in there I swear to Primus" he went running back in anyway and
So back in the present, apparently before he shot him, Wheeljack told Hot Shot to meet him at some shitty abandoned factory, so that's where Hot Shot heads immediately after recovering, and they talk a little
And Hot Shot does not remotely argue that he didn't abandon Wheeljack and the end result of this is that he literally guides the end of Wheeljack's gun to his chest and you see why I loved this so much you
Know this kind of shit is my JAaM jam, but it turns out Side Swipe has followed Hot Shot here, and he arrives just in time to see Wheeljack's gun pointed fucking point-blank at Hot Shot, so naturally, he,
Well, he tries to intervene, but all he actually succeeds in doing is getting his stupid ass taken hostage by Wheeljack, who is like, "hey let's see if you fuck this up like you did with me" and then he
Shoots Hot Shot in the leg and drags Side Swipe off into the factory and somehow the factory ends up on fire I forget if that's something Wheeljack did on purpose or if it was the result of this other
Decepticon who briefly stuck his nose into this business before Wheeljack shot him down for interfering, but either way Hot Shot is kind of like and goes limping into the factory anyway and
Meanwhile Wheeljack and Side Swipe are arguing like "he's not going to come for you because he is a lying liar who liiieeeeesss" and "fuck you aniki's the best and will totally save me and kick your ass"
And while Hot Shot does barely manage to save Side Swipe before the factory explodes, there is certainly no asskicking involved and Wheeljack just sulks at this turn of events in the distance. Which basically
Wraps that episode up, though I forgot to mention earlier that Wheeljack survived the original fire because Megatron showed up out of fucking nowhere and saved him and why that happened is never explained ever.
There's more to the subplot later, but it requires additional context about Starscream and Demolishor and I'm ready to get back to sleep so I will cover that later, but for now, how this related to Energon:
Wheeljack is the only Decepticon to survive Armada who does not return in Energon and while given the treatment the others got, that is most certainly for the best, I'm still salty anyway that he didn't come
But man now I want to rewatch those episodes, maybe I'll look them up on YouTube tomorrow or something. Maybe Rabbit it because I don't know if I could handle it alone.
It's really good shit!!! The production values were terrible because the show was rushed as hell but there were such good ideas in there!!! /bangs fist on table I want to rewatch the Armada that existed in my
OK SO FINALLY GETTING BACK TO THIS the reason for this long delay is that basically I realized that I'm going to have to pretty much cover the entire back half of Armada which also means I need to summarize the
front half so HERE WE GO. Armada introduced and focused on the existence of a third faction in the Autobot-Decepticon war, the Mini-Cons, thus named because they are roughly human-sized and this mini when
Compared to the 'Bots and 'Cons. Mini-Cons have this interesting quality that when they hook up with one of the larger bots, they give said bot a power boost and often unlock some kind of new weapon or ability
Because this sure fucking is a thirty minute toy commercial. As you can imagine, this means that the 'Bots and 'Cons both really wanted the Mini-Cons on their side so in the backstory of the show, the Mini-Cons
All gathered up, got on a space ship and ollied the fuck off of Cybertron because fuuuuuuuck that!!! Naturally they eventually crash landed on Earth/the moon and all went into stasis lock for a few
Million years until the annoying human children stumbled across the ship and woke a few of the Mini-Cons up and thus got the attention of everyone on Cybertron.
So while having any Mini-Con in your position in pretty great, there are three sets of three that are extra special because they combine with each other to form super powerful weapons the big guys can wield.
The first of these to be discovered was the Star Saber, and this started out in the Autobot's hands, where Hot Shot wielded it, until this backstabbing asshole named Sideways tricked him into going to the
Decepticon base on the moon by himself with it where he got nearly killed and the sword stolen because Hot Shot's life is suffering. Megatron used it after that, and the next combine set discovered was the
Skyboom Shield, which the Decepticons had for like an episode before the Autobots got it, and from there out it's pretty much passed around to whomever Megatron's swinging the sword at right now.
And then there's the third set, the Requiem Blaster, which is a ludicrously powerful gun. And the Mini-Cons that form that one, they weren't really fond of that fact! They were not on board with being used as a
Weapon, so it was very fortunate for them that they managed to all land in Autobot hands! But, of course, Megatron did not like that, he wanted that fuck you button of a gun, and that brings us to where shit
Starts getting real in Armada. So, Starscream! Starscream and Megatron have not been getting along, mostly because anytime something doesn't go Megatron's way, he takes it out on Starscream, (including a very
Notable, wholly Decepticon-focused episode which basically starts with a fight going so poorly that Megatron straight up goes at Starscream with intent to kill and I mention this mostly because it's actually
Demolishor who prevents it from actually ending in murder and it's just a generally great Demolishor episode, he spends the whole time trying to break up this infighting because come on, guys, I love
Demolishor he's the best he deserves so much better but uh ANYWAY!!!) On Starscream's side of things, he's mostly just kind of pissy that Megatron's using the Star Saber when he's the one who actually fights
With a fucking sword as his default weapon because I was not at all exaggerating when I called him Dinobot Lite. So now out of the blue, Megatron is like, hey Starscream, how about this next mission, you take
The Star Saber and fight all of the Autobots by yourself sounds good? And Starscream's like yeah, sounds legit. So while Starscream's fighting, Megatron and the entire rest of the Decepticons just straight up
Fucking bail on Starscream because SHOCKER they were just using him as a distraction so they could go break into the Autobot base and steal the Requiem Blaster and use it to fucking murder the dude who was
There guarding the little guys because this shit just wasn't rude enough already. So Starscream's like, well now what the fuck am I doing with my life I can't really go back to the moon I'm pretty sure getting
Left behind to get murdered as a distraction counts as getting fired or at least as a work environment I don't really want to go back to??? And long story short, he and the Star Saber join up with the Autobots.
The Autobots counter break into the Decepticon base and steal all the Mini-Cons there, and there are a few episodes of Starscream awkwardly sort of bonding with the Autobots or at least enough to prove
Himself as trustworthy. There's some, like, legit bonding with Hot Shot in particular because of course there is, but most of Starscream's actual bonding is with the human kids. They make him this giant hideous
Blanket as a friendship offering and he brings them back a neat shiny rock from Mars and it's... Actually kind of legit cute despite Armada's kids being basically the worst in the entirety of Transformers?
So naturally this shit can't last. The Decepticon tactician, Thrust, approaches Starscream during a fight and is like, hey, if you steal all three superweapons and bring them back to us, Megatron will totally
Forgive you and everything will be awesome, trust me on this one. And Starscream's like, I don't know about tha--/is already stealing them, later nerds!!! (Ok there's more angst and deliberation first, but he's
Still a total sucker, goddammit, Starscream.) So the Autobots are just collectively like "...ffs are you fucking kidding me here" about this and Hot Shot in particular is like "GETTING REAL TIRED OF FINDING ALL
THESE KNIVES IN MY BACK HERE " and the kids are all ;A; about it and mostly everybody's fucked because when you get all three superweapons together they, like, resonate or some shit and the end
Result of this is now Megatron's got a spaceship with, like, a planet-destroying super cannon mounted on it and it's pointed at Earth and thanks Starscream and naturally he fires this thing and Optimus, like,
Absorbs it or some shit? I don't remember this perfectly it's been like fifteen years but the short version is Optimus dies, because he's Optimus Prime, it's what he does. Megatron is like, yes, awesome, now
Let's take this shit back to Cybertron and the Autobots are left on Earth like "UMMMM???????" And then they all turn to Hot Shot like ok you're in charge now, and Hot Shot is like THE FUCK I AM hell no nononono
I did not sign up for this I did not agree to this I do not want to go anywhere near a leadership position has nobody noticed I've spent half this entire series literally trying to get myself killed I'm not
Not doing this, and the other Autobots are just like, we're going to beat you up until you agree to take over. And Hot Shot's like wait what OW PRIMUS OKAY FINE I'LL TAKE OVER but just until we get to Cybertron
So the Autobots get their own spaceship together and chase the 'Cons down and there's a fight and after all that fucking hullabaloo about getting Hot Shot to step up and take leadership, he gets to command for
All of about five minutes before the Mini-Cons grab the Matrix and bring Optimus back from the dead with no adequate explanation whatsoever. Hot Shot naturally does not mind this at all BUT I SURE DO.
Ugh so they get back to Cybertron and I don't even remember what happens but somehow or other we learn that Unicron is here and he's gearing up to do his Unicron thing and eat Cybertron and Optimus is like hey
Megatron this is some serious fucking shit here, I think we should put our war on hold and deal with this together. And Megatron's like "nah, sounds fake." So Hot Shot's like, you know what, fuck it, I'm going
To go down there and fight my way through the entire Decepticon army by myself so I can personally get to Megatron's throne room and yell in his face until he stops being such a fucking idiot.
So while he's fighting his way through all this shit, Wheeljack pops up all still down for his revenge and all and if I'm remembering it right Hot Shot literally says something like "ok you can kill me later,
I need to talk to Megatron first" and meanwhile over in Megatron's throne room Starscream is like you know I think Optimus has a point like I don't think evil planet-eating god is something he'd just make up???
And Thrust is like /sweats nervously well I think our "fuck Optimus and fuck everything he says" policy is pretty great no need to change that one, no sir!!! And then Hot Shot gets blasted through the wall and
Is like OW JESUS SERIOUSLY DUDE FIVE MINUTES THIS IS IMPORTA--oh heeeeeeyyyy hi Megatron important message from Optimus get your head out of your ass, this is serious. And Megatron is like well damn of they're
Going this far it must be serious so Thrust-- And then Thrust's like WELP /steals one or possibly all of the Mini-Con superweapons, I don't remember, and fucking bails because he's in cahoots with Sideways,
Who it turns out is Unicron's minion. So Starscream goes off after Thrust, and Hot Shot does, too, and Wheeljack basically follows after Hot Shot and they all follow Thrust through, like, a portal to inside
OK to explain Sideways more properly because I've been kind of glossing over him and he is kind of actually important: he shows up shortly after Hot Shot gets the Star Saber and he's like, sup I'm an Autobot
From out of nowhere and the 'Bots are like, sounds legit, and then he's like, hey Hot Shot, you've got this neat sword and all, you should follow the Decepticons back to their base and kick all their asses for
Good, I'll come and help, and Hot Shot's like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, let's do it! And then after they get up there and Hot Shot's gotten himself in way over his head, Sideways is like PSYCH I
Was a Decepticon all along! And then after a while with the 'Cons, he's like, hey, Starscream, don't you think it's kind of bullshit that Megatron's keeping the Star Saber for himself, I bet you could use it
Way better than he could, just throwing that out there, and Starscream's like yeah! I bet I could!!! And then Sideways is also like, hey, Megatron, you really don't like Starscream's face, right? And Megatron's
Like, yeah, I really don't! Because this is also the aforementioned episode where he tried to kill the dude, and they almost fight before Demolishor's like OH MY GOD YOU GUYS KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF THIS ASSHOLE IS
PLAYING US ALL LIKE FIDDLES seriously dude what even is your problem and Sideways just, like, disappears while cackling and the 'Cons are kind of left going "well that just happened."
It probably bears noting that Thrust was not present yet when this happened and Sideways approached him independently later just like "hey do you want to be on the winning side and get lots of power?" And
Ok I think I remembered the thing I forgot which is that the fucking human kids are also here (because the Autobots brought them with them when they left Earth, naturally), like, inside Unicron, because their
Mini-Con buddies brought them here to show them the shocking reveal that the Mini-Cons were actually created by Unicron himself in order to intensify the war because conflict makes him stronger or some shit,
And they get a glimpse at this creepy alternate timeline where everything goes just as keikaku and then it turns out the whole reason the Mini-Cons went fuck this and ollied out in the first place is this whole
Big time loop where the kids go back to the past and power of friendship at the Mini-Cons until they gain free will or some shit IT'S WEIRD OKAY. The point is I think Starscream gets saddled with babysitting
Them through this? I'm pretty sure he ends up with them here, because I know he's not with Hot Shot and Wheeljack, who are basically using the hellhole obstacle course that is Unicron's innards as a way to work
Through their problems without actually talking about them. So, like, somehow or other they all get out of there I guess, but Megatron, fucking Megatron, he's like, ok, so, I see we're all very serious about
This, fingerquotes, "Unicron" problem, so hey, current plan, we're going to destroy the Autobots and then deal with it, sounds good? And Starscream is like NO THAT SOUNDS THE OPPOSITE OF GOOD and Megatron's
Like, ok that's nice but I have a strict policy of not listening to anything you say? And Starscream's left just like WELL FINE MAYBE YOU'LL PAY ATTENTION TO THIS /attacks the moon that Unicron is disguised as
So Megatron finally agrees to work together on this, and they send Hot Shot, Side Swipe (why Side Swipe instead of somebody experienced, I don't know), Demolishor, and Cyclonus, who is a Decepticon I haven't
Mentioned before because his entire characterization is basically "shooting things is hilarious" and his only plot significance is basically as the dude Demolishor hangs out with, down to Unicron's surface on
Reconnaissance, and they're all kind of collectively, like, ok we're working together but that doesn't mean we have to like it and it sure doesn't mean I trust you guys for shit, and while they're down there,
They all get separated, and then after that, Demolishor also gets separated from his Mini-Con partner. And, see, the thing is, the Mini-Cons don't actually speak, they just beep, so they don't really get a lot
Of, like, characterization focus, right? Like even with the Autobots, most of their Mini-Con partners (i.e.the ones that come packaged with them because toy commercial) are just kind of, like, there, they're
Not really often shown interacting in non-combining contexts. There are exceptions, of course, Hot Shot especially gets some quality time in with his, but on the Decepticon side, like, at the start of the show
Especially, when the big guys outnumbered the Mini-Cons that had been reactivated, there was this thing where, like, ok, Megatron got a Mini-Con first, naturally, and I think Cyclonus nabbed one on his own, and
Then they get another one and Megatron's like ok, I'm giving this one tooooo... Demolishor, Demolishor's getting it. Get fucked, Starscream. Like, a status symbol thing, sort of? Being deserving of having this
Useful tool, I guess, is what I'm getting at? ANYWAY, while Demolishor isn't really shown, like, bonding with his Mini-Con, exactly, he is shown with it at all in the first place, and, like, with it actively
Doing shit, like, it has a radar function, and Demolishor's tank mode has a little seat for it and we actually see it sitting up there scanning for shit and being actively helpful and /waves hand vaguely WHAT
I'M GETTING AT HERE is that we actually got prior evidence that Demolishor, like, actually cared about his Mini-Con and treated it decently before this and as vanishingly little as it is, it's still more than
We get from most of the Autobots much less the Decepticons, so it's. Significant by comparison. Demolishor is a Good. And he gets separated from his Mini-Con and he's upset, but he can't do anything about
It, he's a tank, he can't fly, his mobility is just insufficient, so he has to move on, and it's all very sad and then later Hot Shot and Side Swipe are in the area and Hot Shot's like "...is that a Mini-Con up
There???" And then later all four of them finally manage to get all back together and Hot Shot is like "oh by the way I found this /pulls out Demolishor's Mini-Con" and Demolishor is very touched and my faves
Ok so after this it's finally time to actually fight Unicron and naturally Optimus and Megatron have to go punch him in the snoot personally so Optimus is like "ok while I'm gone Hot Shot is in charge" and
Megatron looks at his collection of idiots and is basically just like "yeah you know what, same" and at this point Hot Shot's reaction is just kind of like "Well this might as well be happening" so something
Something Mini-Con bullshit, Unicron is defeated, Megatron immediately turns to Optimus and is like, ok that's done let's get back to killing each other, and apparently after rushing shit and cutting corners
For 51 fucking episodes, they got to the end of the show and realized they had a ton of money left over or something, because the final episode is pretty much this beautifully animated 1v1 bloodbath between
Optimus and Megatron, like it's legit amazing, it's insane. But I mentioned before that Unicron feeds on conflict, right? So they're literally beating the energon out of each other here on Unicron's corpse hard
Enough that Unicron starts reviving and Megatron notices this, puts two and two together that he is the problem here, and basically commits suicide by willingly falling into Unicron's maw. Unicron disappears
And Optimus is left floating in space by himself going "ok but I am also the problem" and he decides not to return to Cybertron. So Hot Shot's back on Cybertron looking up at this empty space where Unicron
Used to be just like "...they're not coming back, are they?" And that's the story of how Hot Shot became the sole ruler of an entire planet against his will. Anyway they go drop the human kids back off on Earth
Keep in mind that this is a summary of the version that exists in my head, so I mostly just highlighted the Good Ideas That I Loved and glossed over or left out the all the flaws. But yeah. /wistful sigh
ANYWAY, ENERGON. Energon takes place ten years after Armada ends. Energon as in the resource was barely if ever mentioned in Armada but now we are all just aaallll about this shit. Mini-Cons? Mini-Cons are sooo
Last year, man, I think the only Mini-Cons that show up in Energon are the team that hung around with the human kids and the Star Saber team, who got a yellow repaint and became the Energon Saber now.
So raw Energon has been discovered on Earth so the Transformers have set up official relations with humanity (they were incognito in Armada) and set up a few "cities" (glorified mining outposts, really). Raw
Energon is volatile to regular Transformers, but now we have Omnicrons, who are an Autobot sub-faction that can handle and refine Energon. They're bigger than Mini-Cons and smaller than regular Autobots, and I
Don't think it's ever explained where the hell they come from? "This is never explained" is, quite frankly, the source of almost all my Energon salt because there is so much that changes between Armada and
Energon that doesn't even get the most passing of lip services. It's ridonk. Like, first and foremost, new series means new toy line, which means returning characters are showing up in completely different
Bodies without even trying to explain why. Well, the returning Autobots get new bodies, and the returning Decepticons get new paint jobs, which makes the new bodies on the Autobots and the lack of explanation
All the more bizarre. But you know, whatever, that's not the part of Energon that really gets me into a frothing rage, and the new designs aren't too bad, overall? Hot Shot's original design was very round and
Yellow and Shaped Like A Friend, while in Energon he looks more mature, more angles, a lot of blue, if we ignore Energon being the shittiest of shitty CG, I'd probably like it quite well for him. But, well.
BUT FIRST POINT OF SALT, LET'S TALK ABOUT WHERE HOT SHOT STARTS IN ENERGON. As you may recall, he ended Armada as the de facto leader of both the Autobots and the Decepticons, but at some point between the two
Series, Optimus went back on his decision to stay the fuck away and returned to take back leadership and oops I lied this is my first point of salt what the fuck is Optimus doing here his realization that he
Was also a terrible warmonger and that Cybertron was better off without him was like the one interesting thing he did in all of Armada, why did he change his mind
Anyway so yeah Optimus is back out of nowhere and at no point is it ever addressed what this means for the Decepticon chain of command presumably Hot Shot should still be in charge of them even if he himself
Answers to Optimus? Who knows, literally never addressed, because Hot Shot is not even on Cybertron right now, he's been put in charge of one of Earth's mining colonies, Ocean City. With him is also Demolishor
So you can imagine that I started Energon pretty excited because Ocean City is the first place we see, but as things went on it occurred to me that, hey, the supposed Decepticon leader and the highest-ranked
Most competent surviving actual Decepticon have both been stationed out here in the ass end of the universe doing nothing terribly important and that's sketch as fuck.
Never addressed in the slightest, apparently just a coincidence of plotting because nobody seems to have thought out much of anything in Energon. Hate hate hate hate, because I would be so here for Optimus
So yeah, Energon starts with peaceful Ocean City, Demolishor's bitching to himself about how much he hates seagulls and our new human kid Kicker, who hates the Transformers right back because he has magical
Energon sensing powers and his asshole dad has basically been using him as child labor because of it for the past decade. I'm not salty about Kicker, Kicker was actually interesting and I liked him.
The actual plot kicks off here as another new group, the Terrorcons, attack Ocean City to get at its energon. Optimus warps in with some folks to help fight them off and then just kind of. Stays there because
That's where the plot is and apparently Hot Shot isn't even allowed to be in charge in his own city sketch as fuuuuuck So the Terrorcons are trying to revive Unicron for reasons I know actually are
Explained later but that's after I gave up on the show so I don't care, the point is they're trying to revive Unicron, and as such their HQ is in the shell of Unicron's head. Which, I should mention, was still
Attached to the rest of him when he disappeared at the end of Armada! Never explained. Megatron's corpse is also here in Unicron's head, stuck inside a wall for some reason. This will be relevant later.
So, just to review, here's all the Decepticons that survived Armada: Demolishor, Cyclonus, Wheeljack, and Tidal Wave, who I never mentioned before but now he's kind of relevant. He's dumb and not in an
Entertaining way, there's really nothing to say about him in Armada. So as you may recall, Wheeljack does not appear in Energon. What's he doing? Who the fuck knows, never explained! Demolishor is with Hot Shot
In Ocean City, Cyclonus is at another mining colony on the moon, I think? And Tidal Wave is, I believe, at yet another mining colony? Are any Decepticons even left on Cybertron at all at this point? I don't
Know, sketch as fuck, never explained, etc., etc., etc. Anyway Tidal Wave's place is attacked and the Terrorcons kidnap him, they show him Megatron's corpse, hey if they revive Unicron, and Megatron is all but
Part of Unicron at this point, Megatron will also be revived, so he's on board with this, he's signed up with them now. The Terrorcon leader, the quintesson, Alpha Q, somehow, like, makes a sword out of
Megatron's spark? And gives it to his military commander, Scorponok. Scorponok attacks Cyclonus's place on the moon, Cyclonus sees this sword, somehow recognizes Megatron all over it (NEVER. EXPLAINED.), also
Immediately defects to the Terrorcon side. Or. Maybe not immediately? I vaguely recall him and Demolishor interacting sometime in here so I think it actually goes, like, Terrorcons attack moon, Cyclonus brings
News of this to Ocean City, tags along when they go to fight the Terrorcons somewhere else, and that's when Scorponok has the sword and he defects? The point is, by now, Demolishor is the only plot-relevant
Decepticon still with the Autobots. And while he's been grouching about everything left and right, he does actually like being on the good guy's side here? Demolishor is, at heart, very loyal and wants what's
Best for everyone and Megatron's last orders were to work with the Autobots and peace is obviously better for Cybertron than constant war has been and he is not cool with these new guys coming out of nowhere
Completely different continuity, no relation at all to Beast Wars Scorponok, they just recycled the name for another scorpion guy, there's a lot of name recycling in Transformers because copyrights/trademarks.
So Megatron's been siphoning off the energy the Terrorcons have been putting in Unicron because I guess he's not entirely dead there, and Scorponok does not much appreciate this so he does something very
Smart and stabs Megatron's corpse with this sword made out of Megatron's spark. So Megatron's back now! And he's taking over the Terrorcons now, deal with it or else he'll beat you into submission. (Spoilers,
He beats Scorponok into submission.) Megatron's first act as newly revived Decepticon/Terrorcon leader? Attack this (non-Ocean) city that Hot Shot is helping defend and personally beat the ever living shit out
Of Hot Shot. Is this a deliberate act to symbolically take back his command from the guy he left it to or just a funny coincidence? WHO KNOWS BECAUSE IT'S NEVER ADDRESSED!!!
So now Megatron's back and the Autobots know about it! The Autobots know about it. Nobody's fucking told Demolishor yet. Demolishor is out here standing at Ocean City's front gate on guard duty covered in
Seagulls and pondering what the fuck he's doing with his life and meanwhile Optimus's second-in-command is like hey, Optimus, what the fuck are we going to do about him now? So, naturally, before they can come
To any sort of decision, Megatron shows up to attack Ocean City right here right now. Demolishor continues to not know what to do with himself even as Megatron orders him to open the doors for him, so Megatron
Is like, Demolishor. Turn around. Shoot at me. If you're not working for me, you're working against me, so shoot me. And then he just stands there and waits for Demolishor to shoot. Demolishor turns back
We're going to take a break from Demolishor for a minute here, though, because Alpha Q really wants his Terrorcons back from Megatron. So he manages to somehow dredge up Starscream's spark from somewhere and
Gives him a new body and sets him off after Megatron. Which doesn't work at all, Megatron doesn't just beat the shit out of him, he straight up tortures him into being completely loyal to him and just. Pretty
Much nothing about Starscream's entire character arc in Armada is ever addressed here it's just ugh UUUUUGH I can't even muster up the energy to be properly salty about how stupid that whole thing is because
I'm already thinking about what happens next with Demolishor. So Demolishor's not done having internal conflict here yet, no sir. His ten years with the Autobots and humanity have softened him (and quite
Frankly he was a little squishy for a Decepticon to start with, see earlier ramble about his Mini-Con partner [who is also just gone now NO EXPLANATION]) while ten years of being dead and part of Unicron have
Just made Megatron even worse and more brutal than he was to start with, so we get conversations where Megatron is like "ok so we'll just kill the humans and gather up their sparks and put them in new bodies
Loyal to me" and Demolishor's like "No, human sparks are really fragile, they can't survive outside their bodies, they only get one life :<" and just general stuff where you can see there's plenty of room left
For Demolishor to make up his mind that no, Megatron is no longer what's best for the Decepticons, his time has passed and what he's doing now isn't right, it isn't helping, it's no good for anyone.
What does happen is that the Autobots and humans get tired of the Terrorcons raiding their shit in the regular, so they set up this energy shield, and when they activate it, Demolishor pushes Megatron out of
The way and it kills him. Megatron recovers Demolishor's spark. Makes a new body for it. A new, reprogrammed body. A new, reprogrammed body that is in no way recognizable as the same character except for having
New Demolishor is, well, to call him an idiot would be generous, we're talking like, monkey level intelligence? Like, he literally does the chest beating angry yelling thing a lot? And he's a dump truck
Instead of a tank now and it's an ugly design and nobody even cares about this not the other Decepticons, not the Autobots, not even Hot Shot who's spent ten years with the guy, nobody.
Salt in the wound: Cyclonus coincidentally dies and gets a new body around the same time. The only change to Cyclonus's character is that he yodels now because he's a snow vehicle. Cyclonus's new body comes
toycharacter and show you how cool he is (because Armada had no girl robots in it, naturally) so you will want to buytoycharacter!" treatment.JAaMjam, but it turns out Side Swipe has followed Hot Shot here, and he arrives just in time to see Wheeljack's gun pointed fucking point-blank at Hot Shot, so naturally, he,Megatron: ...oh.
and apparently Hot Shot isn't even allowed to be in charge in his own city sketch as fuuuuuckSo the Terrorcons are trying to revive Unicron for reasons I know actually are