SO! Plurk. Want to have a little heart to heart with you. It will be long and it may not be something I should post about, but I feel like I should. I want to get it off my chest! I'll continue in ze comments
So, a few of you will know me as Buttery Toast. I had that store for a year and it was all kawaii ect. Now, under that brand, I think I've said some things I should not have, I've made enemies where they were
not needed to be made. Now, I'm not asking for forgiveness, really not. Whats done is done ect. But, If you know me. Either on plurk, on SL or just my general presence you'll know I'm a really happy go lucky
person. However, a few months ago (when I had buttery toast) I had severe depression. I expired a few things at my RL work that really upset me, I'd been touched inappropriately, I had incredibly upsetting
things said to me. It made me think back to when I was 16 and I was sexually abused by a much older man. Now, this does not excuse a thing. But, I became paranoid that people were out to get me, that people
disliked me, ect ect. HOWEVER. The point of this, is, I basically, overdosed just after I closed buttery toast. Not because of BT, but because of all that RL shit happening and that was leaking into my SL
So, the true point of this. Is. I went to the doctors. I was experiencing a severe hormone imbalance and was put on tablets. The last three months (how long I've been on them) has been amazing. I feel like ME
I've applied for a new job, I'm creating again. I've got a good healthy balance of gaming/RL. So, I do want to say how I acted. Now I look back on it, it makes me embarrassed and incredibly angry at myself!
SO! If you ever feel, crappy, want to end it, ect. Know that, you need to go to the doctors. I was against tablets for the longest time. But, don't fight it. They help. I'm going back to my doctors tomorrow,
the tablets are not a long term thing, I'll be taken off them too. It's just to balance the chemicals in my brain. And you know what? I'll be just fine and so will you <3
It's always bittersweet to hear about the fight others are going through. On one hand, I'm so very sorry you had to go through all that. On the other hand, it's nice to know that I and others are
Now, I'm not asking for forgiveness, really not. Whats done is done ect. But, If you know me. Either on plurk, on SL or just my general presence you'll know I'm a really happy go lucky
Now, this does not excuse a thing. But, I became paranoid that people were out to get me, that people
HOWEVER. The point of this, is, I basically, overdosed just after I closed buttery toast. Not because of BT, but because of all that RL shit happening and that was leaking into my SL
So, I do want to say how I acted. Now I look back on it, it makes me embarrassed and incredibly angry at myself!
I'm going back to my doctors tomorrow,
And you know what? I'll be just fine and so will you <3