Especially Dad. He died before I came out. WHich is a little ridiculous, and if he hadn't died, the chain of events leading to me coming out might have. Not happened for who knows how long.
I wish I could say it would have been the same for me, but to be honest dad would have worried about that - i mean, he would have picked a relationshipo with me over anything
But it was in sort of a whisper, "Oh no everyone on earth is going to beat up my kid, i just know they're going to be murdered if they talk about this" sort of way.
He would have cracked jokes. There would have been awkward conversations while he wrapped his head around it. But. He would have made it clear i was still his kid and he still loved me
...Although he did once ask me not to be a cross dresser - never really like dresses until i became a girl, so. His literal concern really was how many people would beat me up. ;;
>,> I really only wore girl's underwear once before starting transitioning, and that was under the diluted hope/fear that i would somehow spontaneously turn into a girl and
But. Yeah. Truthfully. All the problems i've had. Partially they're from dad, who could accept people. But didn't accept that otehr people would be non-judgemental.
And part of it was just. Me. Going from a hetero white male with all the advantages, to a lesbian transwoman (also jewish!) was. Scary. :/ I scared myself. And because i was scared, because i argued
until i stopped even consciously thinking about it - still fantasized about being a girl, sometimes, just stopped arguing over whether i'd want it.....
(I used to explode about how horrible my mom was, now i just explode about the fact that my dad's dead, the woman who was a bretter mother to me than mom's dead, and also i'm trans and apparently a lesbian?)
LIke. That part shouldn't even freaking matter. But. The trans part was a shock to no one. The lesbian label was a surprise i'm still wrapping my head around.
but i just thought i was a creep who only wanted to play femslash. Rather than. Oh hey. Maybe it's that i have a really complicated relationship with guy bits and the fact that i don't want them?
NO judgements - even i get a mental hiccup sometimes where i scramble to put the right genders in place in my head. But. I hate that it happens to me, and i hate that it's a phenomon that exists. :/
but i just thought i was a creep who only wanted to play femslash. Rather than. Oh hey. Maybe it's that i have a really complicated relationship with guy bits and the fact that i don't want them?actually i looked like a mes, but i love that pic