dragon8writer
[Grief][translife][ranbting][mute] You know what really sucks? Not just that everyone's dead. But that they died before they could see me as "Kay" :/
dragon8writer
Especially Dad. He died before I came out. WHich is a little ridiculous, and if he hadn't died, the chain of events leading to me coming out might have. Not happened for who knows how long.
dragon8writer
(ALso, i wouldn't actually have money for the surgery)
[no healers]
rolling in here to offer support here, too. (cozy)
dragon8writer
But. I hate. That he's never going to know me as... fully me. WHoever I"m becoming. WHatever i'mm growing into.
dragon8writer
Dad was. Dad was a good person. Other than the whole couple montsh in the group home (that wouldn't be as big a deal if my mother hadn't put
dragon8writer
me on memory-damaging drugs that leave me unable to remember anything before that)
dragon8writer
WEll. While I lived with him, it was. A pretty open household? Like. Dad didn't care about people's sexualities or anything.
dragon8writer
I wish I could say it would have been the same for me, but to be honest dad would have worried about that - i mean, he would have picked a relationshipo with me over anything
dragon8writer
But while dad didn't judge, stuff like trans. I think he would have had a hard time fully understanding it? And he worried about this stuff.
dragon8writer
Like. Even before i accepted it, he made clear he would accept it.
dragon8writer
But it was in sort of a whisper, "Oh no everyone on earth is going to beat up my kid, i just know they're going to be murdered if they talk about this" sort of way.
dragon8writer
................................I hate thinking bad about him, because he's dead but it's true.
dragon8writer
But. STill. Nobody's perfect. The fact is, dad would hve accepted me.
dragon8writer
Dad would have gone with me on it, rather htan risk losing me or anything
dragon8writer
He would have cracked jokes. There would have been awkward conversations while he wrapped his head around it. But. He would have made it clear i was still his kid and he still loved me
dragon8writer
...Although he did once ask me not to be a cross dresser - never really like dresses until i became a girl, so. His literal concern really was how many people would beat me up. ;;
dragon8writer
Years later, he whispered to me at a table in the airport that he was okay with it if i was a crossdresser
dragon8writer
>,> I really only wore girl's underwear once before starting transitioning, and that was under the diluted hope/fear that i would somehow spontaneously turn into a girl and
dragon8writer
wouldn't have to argue with myself anymore
dragon8writer
But. Yeah. Truthfully. All the problems i've had. Partially they're from dad, who could accept people. But didn't accept that otehr people would be non-judgemental.
dragon8writer
And part of it was just. Me. Going from a hetero white male with all the advantages, to a lesbian transwoman (also jewish!) was. Scary. :/ I scared myself. And because i was scared, because i argued
dragon8writer
with myself over this for years
dragon8writer
until i stopped even consciously thinking about it - still fantasized about being a girl, sometimes, just stopped arguing over whether i'd want it.....
dragon8writer
well. Because of that. Dad's never going to get the chance to prove me wrong. :/
dragon8writer
Or the chance to accept me
dragon8writer
Dad's dead. And he's never going to see me grow
dragon8writer
[no healers] : HUGS this is why i needed to get out of your plruk. >,<
dragon8writer
I could sense some form of explosion was coming.
dragon8writer
(I used to explode about how horrible my mom was, now i just explode about the fact that my dad's dead, the woman who was a bretter mother to me than mom's dead, and also i'm trans and apparently a lesbian?)
dragon8writer
LIke. That part shouldn't even freaking matter. But. The trans part was a shock to no one. The lesbian label was a surprise i'm still wrapping my head around.
dragon8writer
(Though. NO surprise. I've never been able to get behind het, from either side of the equation, in real life or RP)
[no healers]
No worries! <3
dragon8writer
WEll. OBVIOUSLY SURPRISE. But maybe it shouldn't have been. 8|
dragon8writer
but i just thought i was a creep who only wanted to play femslash. Rather than. Oh hey. Maybe it's that i have a really complicated relationship with guy bits and the fact that i don't want them?
dragon8writer
I had my first date Ever a few weeks ago, and none since.
dragon8writer
I did look hot tho. 8U
StupidSexyV⚠der
hugs
dragon8writer
actually i looked like a mes, but i love that pic
dragon8writer
Also, randomly, I am a lot less open about being trans off plurk
dragon8writer
Even here i'm sometimes nervous to say it when i hadve new people - though i worry some bits of my personality are only really. Gettable if you know
dragon8writer
But. IT's lefss fear of judgement -0 though that is there - as it is.
dragon8writer
There's a difference between being accepted as transwoman.... and just plain old being seen as a woman
dragon8writer
NO judgements - even i get a mental hiccup sometimes where i scramble to put the right genders in place in my head. But. I hate that it happens to me, and i hate that it's a phenomon that exists. :/
dragon8writer
I don't want to be "accepted." I want to just be
DuncegeonMaster
That sounds really tough. /hugs
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