Lord Nick
Dear Constantly Bitching Coworker: Nobody is impressed that you got a job instead of "going on welfare like everyone else." You are in your thirties, you're not going to get a parade for being an adult.
Lord Nick
Also, the next time you find yourself gearing up to say "Nobody here has problems like me" or some variant thereof, just shut up immediately. Christ.
Faetan
I want a parade.
Lord Nick
No
Lord Nick
I also continue to make myself an enemy of Control Freak With No Actual Authority by not giving a shit about anything he has to say.
JudgeCF
You should give shits. Then his hands would be all poopy.
Lord Nick
There's nothing false on that statement
RobotApocalypse
"i got a job instead of going on welfare like everyone else" he says
RobotApocalypse
to a room full of people who have a job
Lord Nick
Yes
RobotApocalypse
CJ
Faetan
Maybe the rest of his siblings went on welfare? I'unno.
Faetan
Nobody here understands me the way I try to understand them. 
Lord Nick
/kicks that couch out from under you
Faetan
Nobody here has couch problems like me.
Lord Nick
/drops a chesterfield on you
Faetan
I got a couch dropped on me instead of a piano like everyone else.
JudgeCF
If my name was Constantly Bitching Coworker, I'd have no choice but to follow my true calling in life.
Lord Nick
You two are the least helpful people I've ever known
Faetan
It's not like we can afford to fly up there and punch all the lame people in your life.
Lord Nick
That's not my problem
Faetan
That's because you don't problems like I do.
Lord Nick
Maybe you don't have problems like me
Faetan
You seem to have unlimited access to free furniture.