you know it's a weird experience hearing somebody close to you has died. I remember when my grandpa passed when I was a kid, I burst into tears pretty much right away, but now that I'm older I'm just like "oh"

"well ok that happened"

and at first it's like nothing at all is really different

and it doesn't start to sink in for an hour or two and you can't feel the full impact for weeks or months or even until the next year comes around and they're not there for the holidays and things like that

We got word just now that one of my cousins has suddenly died, and idk, it's just a weird thing. Since she's not someone I saw every day to begin with (she lived several states away) it doesn't affect my

usual routine. I guess it would probably be different if it did, but.

oh man, I'm sorry bb ;;

It's a strange thing to know that a year from now I'll probably be sitting around like "I should share this with Amy I bet she'd... oh yeah"

haha thanks.

but I understand this feeling, it's especially weird when they're not constantly around you to begin with

I feel you on your dad Rose, I'm more concerned for my mom and her brother (cousin's dad).

/leans on

this happened at an especially terrible time because my uncle doesn't really have anyone else in the area to help him with stuff but my mom is currently really sick, like ordered on bed rest sick.

and uncle is not in good health himself and his wife is even worse off and it's just a huge clusterfuck all around