I hate diets, but I hate being fat and out of shape even more

as a person going thru this too, let me just say this...stop dieting and instead make lifestyle changes with your food, your exercising everything. Start small, set obtainable goals and keep moving forward

I agree with ~Aeva~ , don't make traumatic changes simply because those will lead to discouragement and setbacks.

I'm exercising, eating less, and eating better

Maybe I'm eating too little

That is possible...you might not be eating enough protein or healthy fats too