Ended up at my sister’s school which is next to her apartment. Told her how I felt. Because she’s still working, she asked me to return home and not run away, that she’ll talk to me when off work.

So here I am, maybe for the last time. I realized now that I keep hurting myself by hanging on to something that isn’t there. And because of that, I have no reason to live. Again, not suicidal, but is simply ‘dead’. Who am I without that one happiness? The(false?) feeling of belonging online? Maybe I never was to begin with. Even before dreamwidth -

livejournal, twitter, and past social media. I just never belonged because I always screw up. With that said, no longer gonna beat a dead horse. No longer gonna bother doing anything. I don’t want my car, money, or anything really. Life itself is pointless for me. Guess I’m done here…